Women in troubled marriages more violent than men
Sunday March 24 2002
A DISTURBING portrait of marriage in Ireland reveals shocking levels of violence in the home, with women nearly twice as likely as men to assault their partners.
The revelation that women are more likely to use physical force in marriages which have received counselling is just one of the provocative findings of the Government-commissioned study.
The 150-page report, Distressed Relationships Does Counselling Help?, found that, at a "conservative estimate", at least 10 per cent of all couples aged 30 to 40 have troubled marriages.
The report examined the marriages of 530 clients who sought counselling with Marriage and Relationship Counselling Services (MRCS) in 2000. Two-thirds of clients were couples and one-third individuals, the majority of whom were women.
By the very nature of the study, those who took part in it were in troubled marriages, but the authors' findings suggest that domestic violence is not the significant cause but, instead, the result of unhappy relations.
Words do far more damage, the report suggests. Criticism and insults are among the major factors and men's failure to listen to their wives, and their inability to deal with conflict, was cited in nine of 10 of the marriages surveyed.
Infidelity, drink and pressures of work, often believed to be major factors in the breakdown of marriages, were not found to be the major problems. In fact, the more mundane but highly divisive factor of division of labour in the home was singled out. The pressure of running the home "single-handed" and intense frustration at bringing up children without proper support from their husbands are major causes of distress among wives.
The report found that, "on balance, it seems that men and women benefit about equally from marriage".
Marriage for men means they will enjoy better health. For women the major benefits come from a higher income.
At the other end of the scale, a bad marriage is "vastly more stressful" than other life events such as poverty or unemployment. It leads to depression in women and poor physical health in men.
Violence was a feature of almost half of the marriages surveyed, of which women were the perpetrators in 41 per cent of cases and men 26 per cent. The violence was mutual in 33 per cent of cases.
A central point is the critical importance of marriage for human well-being. Married people are happier than single, widowed, separated or remarried people, providing the marriage is sound.
- SINEAD GRENNAN
