Cowen 'does a Bertie' by playing Trap green card
Friday November 13 2009
PERHAPS fed up with Eamon Dunphy's monotonous outbursts about Ireland soccer boss Giovanni Trapattoni's tactics and methods, he could hold back no longer.
Well used to bilious criticism and constant vitriol over his own tactics, another under-fire Ireland boss yesterday waded in on Trap's behalf.
Just before 4pm, the Fianna Fail press office said: "In a new video on the Fianna Fail website, An Taoiseach Brian Cowen TD talks about Ireland's chances in Saturday's crucial World Cup Qualifier against France."
Oh sweet Jaysus, no.
A former self-styled "sports-mad" Taoiseach had a penchant for regularly involving himself in a big national sporting occasion, especially when the sh** was hitting the fan.
So Fianna Fail clearly felt the time had come for Brian to do a Bertie.
One could almost hear Trap shouting 'Mamma Mia' as he ordered Keano and Duffer to stop what they were doing and get to the nearest internet cafe and the YouTube website.
"Well, I hope they do well", began Mr Cowen a little conservatively in a two-minute YouTube video about the forthcoming World Cup play-off double header against France.
Against a patriotic backdrop of the national flag in his office, Mr Cowen added: "We saw where world champions Italy could not beat us over a two game series as well . . . so I think it is a good opportunity."
Then, inviting unfortunate comparisons with his own performance, Mr Cowen moved on to an analysis of Trap's tactics.
As he spoke, it became clear there are glaring differences between the football team and the team running the nation.
But now was not a time to discuss NAMA, €4.5bn in cuts and under-performing ministers, as Mr Cowen added: "Mr Trapattoni has provided us with a team and a system I think that means we don't leak many goals, we're good defensively and we're relying on some of the individual brilliance of our midfield and our forwards to produce on the day."
Flair
Perhaps trying to evoke comparisons with the 'stars' of his own cabinet, he went on: "So whether it's Shay Given (Brian Lenihan?) in the goal, one of the best keepers in the world or flair players like Robbie Keane (Mary Coughlan?) or Damian Duff (Mary Hanafin?), or indeed some of the new players Mr Trapattoni has brought in himself, good solid players who are giving it everything and playing as part of a team and providing stiff opposition for anyone who comes to Dublin.
"So it's great for national morale too. . . it's great to see we are in there competing . . . I think we can be very hopeful."
Indeed, Mr Cowen. If only life was a game of football. Over to you Trap.
- Ciaran Byrne
Irish Independent
