Lise Hand: Cowen leaps at chance to defend Cool Hand Lenny over pay talks
Finance Minister Brian Lenihan arriving for the Cabinet meeting at Government Buildings yesterday. Photo: Tom Burke
Related Articles
Wednesday December 09 2009
On the day before a ghastly, howling demon of a Budget is unleashed upon the gibbering populace, one would expect the penultimate parliamentary debate to be all about numbers and the like.
But instead there was a ribbiting -- eh, riveting -- discussion during Taoiseach's Questions about the number of frogs in Ireland. Yep, that's right, frogs.
It was Enda Kenny who started hopping the ball by happily drawing attention to the princely sum of "€125,000 being spent on a report to count the number of frogs in the country on the eve of a frightening Budget. What is the pressing evidence that required Minister Gormley to come to Cabinet and say he must commission a consultancy report to count the number of frogs in the country within the next two years?" he asked.
"Perhaps the Government is looking to tax them," suggested Fine Gael's Leo Varadkar.
But Brian wasn't even going to mention the F-word. There would be no frog-talk from him. Instead he tried his usual ploy of shifting blame across the chamber floor.
"The questions relating to the habitats directive and the National Parks and Wildlife Service perhaps should have been contemplated when the Government that brought in the legislation -- on the Opposition's watch -- made such obligations to deal with various biodiversity issues that arise," he counter-attacked.
And across the chamber floor, Fine Gael's Charlie Flanagan was duly incredulous. "Is the Taoiseach saying we are responsible for counting the frogs? I've heard the Opposition blamed for many things, but that is a new one," he reckoned almost admiringly.
Enda was having great fun. "Are we to see the spectacle of the minister, Deputy Gormley, in his sandals tramping through the wetlands of the midlands counting frogs at dawn or dusk?" he chuckled.
"He could do us all a favour and check the bog holes," sniped Fine Gael's Denis Naughten.
"It was the Opposition who enacted the legislation," croaked Brian, but he wasn't too bothered -- after all, the only tadpole that counts is the one on Election Day.
However, a short while later during Leaders' Questions, the Taoiseach was hopping mad with Labour's Eamon Gilmore who decided to put the boot into Brian over the collapsed public sector pay talks by playing the man and not the ball.
"It seems to me that the Government and the unions were within touching distance of concluding an agreement," said Eamon.
"At best, it is incompetent that the Government could not conclude that agreement and at worst it is devious. The bottom line is not what the Taoiseach said but rather that he has a Minister for Finance who is now so anxious to get his hands on the Taoiseach's job that he was prepared to sink this agreement," he needled, as a cacophony of derision rose from the government benches.
"That's rubbish," snorted John Moloney, but Eamon carried on trying to promote the Strife of Brians. "He clearly does not subscribe to the Taoiseach's view that political loyalty is a virtue," taunted Eamon over a hubbub of protest rising from the government benches.
"From early last week, from the time there was an agreement in prospect, he had his representatives out on the airwaves doing his damnedest to undermine the work that was going on. This was stupid and short-sighted," he informed the irritated troops of Fianna Fail.
The Taoiseach tried to keep his cool as he defended his compadre Brian Lenihan. He wanted to emphasise that any talk of artistic differences between them is a load of hooey.
"I completely reject that view. It is unfortunate that it is usual practice to introduce personalities into the situation," added an irked Brian. He explained that he and his buddy saddled up together and rode into the Death Valley of public sector pay talks.
"The Minister for Finance accompanied me to all those meetings and full and frank discussions took place between all the parties concerned," he said. Who better to ride shotgun for him than Cool Hand Lenny?
And what's more, when it came to the question of extracting the €1.3bn from the public sector, it wasn't Brian Lenihan or anyone else in Cabinet who balked at the unions' proposals for raising the loot through a convoluted process of unpaid leave. Oh no -- it was a case of uno Biffo, una voce.
"The Government was at one in our view," the Taoiseach assured the opposition parties. He is still the Decider-in-Chief, no matter who thinks that it was Cool Hand Lenny who shot the pay talks through the heart.
"The Minister for Finance can present his proposals in the pay area in a stronger position tomorrow morning because we have come to an understanding that this is the sort of figure that is required for 2010," he explained to Eamon.
So it was Brian Cowen who rode to the rescue and saved Lenny's bacon. Well, son-of-a-gun, who knew?
- Lise Hand
Irish Independent
