We've got to win the Eurovision or else . . .
Sunday May 14 2006
Central to the whole European Project are a certain set of ideals, principal among them being that the Irish win the Eurovision, or at least do very well in it. At the veryleast, the Irish have a god-given right to be in the Eurovision final, whether we be represented by the Swarbriggs plus two or Brian Kennedy or whoever.
But it seems our Eastern European friends just aren't getting it. War-torn and all though the Baltic states might be, and impoverished though the former Soviet countries may be, they seem to have a suspicious amount of time and energy to put into crafting and executing good Eurovision songs. If nothing else, it's rude. If your new neighbours invite you to a party you don't barge in and take over the karaoke machine and do better than anyone else.
This is not a threat, just a suggestion to the many Polish and Latvians and Lithuanians and whatnot who now call Ireland home: Contact your relatives in the old country, explain to them that we are a friendly and tolerant people, but that we can be pushed too far. Tell them we like to win the Eurovision, or at least do well. Tell them that though we pretend to think it's naff, we are secretly insulted when our birthright of a place in the final is threatened. Tell them that for us not to have that place in the final could mean we're a little less friendly to Eastern Europeans who come here in the future.
To Irish people, I say: If it doesn't work out for us this year I think we should consider an alternative competition, a breakaway where old Europe and new, Eastern Europe each have their own competitions. After all, we wouldn't take them on in weightlifting or chess or women's shot-putt would we? Maybe Eurovision is now their sport too.
Brian Kennedy interviewed,
- Brendan O'Connor
