Think outside the box
In days gone by, parents adopted a robust approach to the challenge of generating escape time from their kids. The privileged were banished to nursery, then shipped off to boarding school, while the less fortunate were either farmed off to childless relatives, or, in extreme cases, popped into wicker baskets and abandoned at the church door.
Keeping the little darlings out of your hair by sitting them in front of the box seems far more humane, but that isn't to say that it's doing them no harm.
A study conducted at the University of Florence shows that when kids who spend three hours per night in front of the box were deprived of TV, video games and computers for one week, they showed a 30pc reduction in the production of melatonin, a hormone which is thought to prevent the early onset of puberty.
Hormonal change isn't the only risk. David Egan, CEO of RedBranch, an organisation which promotes healthy lifestyles in children, says evidence shows that kids eat robotically while watching TV.
"This is worrying because it happens so often in so many homes. Families are spending less and less time eating together at the dinner table, and kids are allowed to feed themselves while sitting on the couch watching TV.
"Our research shows that by the time he is seven years of age, a typical Irish kid will have spent one year of his life watching TV."
Emotional harm is also a factor. Psychologist Dr Maureen Concannon believes that TV dinners can have a profoundly negative impact.
"They aren't being taught how to converse over a meal, and they aren't being shown how to behave at the table," she explains. "Worse, they're being denied the one time in the day when they might hope to have their parents' undivided attention."
As to why our kids enjoy watching TV so much, Michael Fitzgerald, professor of child and adolescent psychiatry at Trinity College, says it's because it gives instant satisfaction for minimal effort.
"It can become an addiction for underachievers," he explains. "They get used to the quick fix of instant pleasure it brings and that makes it harder for them to apply themselves to schoolwork.
"My work often takes me into the homes of disadvantaged families and very rarely do I find one where the TV is not blaring away all day," he says. "it's a habit which hampers the development of positive family relationships and which can lead to the carrying out of copy-cat crimes by a small proportion of vulnerable youngsters who like to watch violence on TV.
"Fifty years ago, families played cards or musical instruments together in the evenings. Neighbours called in for a sing-song or a get-together, and children were actively involved in a positive, sociable way. Excessive TV-watching has put an end to that. It is destroying the fabric of society."
Sounds like it's time to bring back nanny after all.
Mandy and Mark
Mandy Bambury lives in Ballybunion, Co Kerry, with her partner Patrick Lawson and Mark, who is nearly four.
"We would never watch TV while eating dinner. The evening meal is a special family time. We make sure we sit down to eat together four nights a week at least.
"A ban on TV at mealtimes is normal for Mark, and although he knows that it's different in some of his friends' houses, he's good about it and never kicks up.
"I worry about the bad language and the violence on TV. Even cartoons can be unsuitable, so I try to watch along with Mark whenever I can. If I'm too busy, I still keep an eye to ensure that what he's watching is appropriate.
"While TV can be educational and entertaining, we prefer to see our son playing games and doing jigsaws than sitting staring at the box. The maximum he would ever spend watching would be three hours per day, but that would be rare. He often doesn't bother, as he's sporty and prefers playing with his friends."
The Lynch family
Caitriona Lynch, mum to seven children, has experienced family life with and without a TV.
"We'd no TV at all for our first three children growing up until the eldest was 12 and the youngest was seven, and they're much better readers than the younger children," explains Caitriona.
"In school, they were always three or four years ahead of their peers when it came to reading and cognitive ability. The younger four, who grew up with a TV in the house, do not have the same enthusiasm for reading as the older children who grew up without a television."
Although they now have a TV, its use is limited and during certain periods, like Lent and exam time, it's put away altogether.
"One of the main things we found without a TV is the evenings are much longer," says Caitriona. "That doesn't mean they're boring, but you can fit in an awful lot more."
She points out that family life improves when the TV is put away.
"There's a lot more interaction going on in the house between siblings and between ourselves and the children. We play a lot more games, such as board games and card games," Caitriona explains.
"It actually sounds very quaint, but it's quite nice. In the past, I certainly wasn't doing my tapestry in the corner with Mozart playing in the background, but at times it came pretty close to that."
And while the TV plays a small part in their lives, Caitriona has resisted allowing a games console through the door.
"You now see younger and younger children unable to communicate with adults. It's definitely easy to give in and run out and buy one, but the benefits of not having one far outweigh the momentary peace."
-- Additional reporting by Jacqueline Kavanagh
'Families could turn off the TV and eat together'
Father of five Sean Davoren is head butler at the Lanesborough Hotel, London, and author of Manners from Heaven. He runs etiquette classes for the young.
"We all have busy lives, but with a little effort most families could manage to turn off the TV and sit down to eat together three times a week. If they only spent an hour talking together and teaching their children how to identify and use a soup spoon and a fish knife, it would make such a difference.
"I've seen five-year-old children unable to use a knife and fork, but I've also seen adults drink from the finger bowl, blow their nose into their napkins and spit at table.
"Bad manners are learnt in childhood, but are something we are judged on right through our lives. I've seen adults sitting over dinner for four hours, chatting among themselves and totally ignoring the children at their table. Some allow them to play with gameboys to keep them quiet and never think to include them in the conversation.
"I believe in discipline but not in smacking. Children should be seen as individuals with their own voice. Parents should set boundaries and stick to their principles, and they should expect their kids to try to break the boundaries. That's their job.
"Good manners are vital for success. I give the etiquette classes and find that while most of the students are very image conscious, they're lacking in the confidence they need to go to university.
"The art of good manners has gone out the window and is viewed as being 'prim and proper' whereas it's really about respecting people and being nice. We remember rude people, and I would hate to be remembered for being that way."
- Rita de Brun
