PICTURE the scene: you’re just in the door from work and are whizzing about unloading football gear and brownie uniforms from the washing machine, when the sudden realisation hits you: You’ve forgotten to defrost the family pack of lasagne and there’s nothing in the fridge.

At the same time, out of the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of a magazine with a photo of Heather Mills under which is the news that she has been nominated for ‘Mum of the Year.’

Suddenly, you’re wringing the washing in your hands in a homicidal rage and spitting fury that a jumpedup lingerie model who bagged a multi-millionaire singer and has staff to help her rear her only child – yes, your inner voice screams, her one bloody child – is being held up as a role model for modern mums. You read further down the story and see that Posh Spice and Geri Halliwell are also among the 10 mums selected to battle it out for La Redoute Celebrity Mum of the Year 2008, and suddenly the washing is flying through the room and your kids find you gasping for air and muttering like a mad woman while clinging onto the kitchen table for dear life.

Thank goodness for the ultimate sanity saver that is Miriam O’Callaghan, who this week revealed the secret behind her supermum status – and in doing so shed light on how so many hectically busy celebrities manage to balance both motherhood and careers.

Miriam came clean on how she manages to keep her big, beautiful brood under control and said it all comes down to having a good income which pays for excellent childcare. RTE’s leading yummy mummy said her impressive salary from her broadcasting job helped make rearing eight children a lot easier.

She said: “I’m no superwoman at all. I’m very aware that I have a good job and a good income and can afford good childcare, which makes it a lot easier than someone who may have a badly paid job, have to work long hours and mind their children – that’s a lot harder.”

WISDOM

However, if Miriam’s words of wisdom are not enough to calm your apoplectic rage, and you’re building up a resentment against Heather Mills that rivals even Paul McCartney’s, then maybe what we need to do is take a closer look at the lives of some of the celebrity mums who have bagged the annual Best Mum awards.

Especially as you get ready for the burnt scrambled eggs and cold tea offerings that Mother’s Day will bring next week. Or maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who is expecting a box of Roses or a luxury weekend away in thanks for all your multi-tasking over the past 12 months.

Becky Gauld, a former nanny to Jordan and Peter Andre’s children, has quite a few things to say about the showbusiness couple’s parenting skills. Last year Jordan won the Grattan Celebrity Mum of the Year award.

It’s worthwhile noting here that Becky was fired from her job as childminder to Jordan and Peter’s two sons when she took a holiday against Jordan’s wishes.

Becky has alleged that Jordan allowed her disabled son Harvey, who is overweight and has a thyroid disorder, to eat 20 chicken nuggets at once – even though she’d been told by doctors he could die if he didn’t diet.

The former nanny has also alleged that Jordan was quizzed by social services after Harvey, who is also blind and autistic, scalded himself in a bath of hot water. And that the former glamour model taught Harvey to say “f *** off ”, so she and Andre could raise a laugh from their friends at a barbecue.

BITTER

These allegations could well be the bitter rantings of a dismissed employee, however, there could be a ring of truth to Becky’s assertions that the only time Jordan and her family get together are for family photo shoots for magazines. And that Jordan is more interested in plastic surgery and beauty treatments than she is in spending quality time with her kids.

If you’re beginning to feel more balanced now, there’s also some solace to be had in considering former Atomic Kitten singer Kerry Katona, who was voted Celebrity Mum of the Year in 2002 and 2003.

Sadly, in spite of her lovable personality, Kerry has since been accused of being a bad mum due to her addictive behaviour.

Earlier this year the singer’s mum-in-law, Marilyn Croft, alleged that Kerry flew at her in a drunken rage at a party and slapped her when she complained about partygoers smoking over her 11- month-old granddaughter Heidi.

Marilyn also maintained that she was then kicked out of the New Year party and was told by Kerry that she would never see her granddaughter again if she told anyone about her behaviour at the party.

SMOKING

Marilyn, 59, said: “I have to speak out. Kerry is five months pregnant with my new grandchild – yet she was roaring drunk on vodka and smoking like a chimney. Heidi was still up at midnight being passed around like a parcel in a smoke-filled room when she should have been in bed.”