Oh, Nicole. Do tell us more
Sunday November 08 2009
THE headline was "Nicole Kidman likes strange sexual fetish stuff" -- she admitted as much in a GQ interview last week -- but we need to back up for a minute here.
The really shocking news is that Nicole Kidman is going on about sex at all. Yes, it's good for burning calories and therefore useful for staying rake-thin, but let's be fair -- it can also smudge your make up and ruin your hair.
Nicole always seemed like one of those glacial, controlled types who would never undertake an activity that might be as messy and possibly sweaty as sex. Ecstatic eye-rolling and cries of "YES! YES!" would surely only happen if there were an Oscar on the line.
And heavens to Gertrude, what on earth does "strange sexual fetish stuff" mean? Are we talking swings here? Nappies and soothers? Is she tying poor Keith Urban up and dressing him in her clothes?
She can't just tantalise us with this stuff. Sadly, there's unlikely to be a leaked sex tape to clear it all up in due course. Though imagine the sales if one were included as a DVD extra on her next film, possibly narrated by Tom Cruise.
Speaking of which, she still wouldn't say what it was like living with him but did add that she had also "explored the mundane aspect of marriage and monogamy" -- which can't make the poor little megastar feel any taller.
- Donal Lynch
Sunday Independent
