Ireland is second only to Japan when it comes to consuming computer games. But it seems that Disney may have to think up a new title and strategy for its latest game when it's released in this country.

It's expected to be one of the big hits of the Christmas games sales rush in Britain and America, but somehow one feels that the game, Epic Mickey, featuring Mickey Mouse, might have something of a hard sell to Irish punters.

After all, do you really want to be the person to go into GamesWorld and say: "Can I have an Epic Mickey, please? My kid is desperate for it, he says all his friends have one."

Nope, can't see that one working out at all.

Truly, we have more to unite us

Somalia has a rather bad reputation at the moment.

After all, those pesky pirates have a habit of taking too many hostages (and why the Yanks and Brits don't just go into Somali waters and blow the shit out of all of them is a genuine mystery). On top of that, the leaderless country is still suffering a horrendous civil war, with generations of people scarred physically and emotionally from the conflict.

But it's nice to see that the Muslim morality police in that country are focusing on bigger issues -- such as women who wear bras.

According to one report from the country: "A woman who accentuates her breasts by using a bra gives a false impression of the goods (her body), which is seen as fraud and deception of the buyer (the man) who might buy (marry) her for her ample breasts and later discover that they were ample because of the bra and not by nature."

This makes perfect sense when you think about it and when this column pointed this out at the features conference yesterday and commented that this rule should apply to the women in the Indo because, after all, they're only working here to bag themselves a husband, the results were swift and brutal.

So, this column has an announcement to make -- we have converted to Islam, where we can tell any woman we want to take off her bra and if they refuse they're being racist and not respecting our religion, innit?

Violent journalists -- surely not?

These are tough times to be in the newspaper business. Pay is being cut, jobs are being lost and it is fair to say that tensions are running a little high.

But things took a turn for the pugilistic at the Washington Post at the weekend.

The paper, famous for Watergate, has been suffering the same kind of downturn as the rest of us and an editorial conference really kicked off on Friday night when editor Henry Allen and reporter Manuel Roig-Franzia got stuck into each other, before being forcibly separated.

The punches were thrown after Allen told one of Franzia's female colleagues that her story was "the second worst story I have seen in Style in 45 years", which prompted Franzia to jump to her defence, calling his boss a c***sucker and promptly punching him in the mouth.

This reminds ISpy of a fight between two hacks outside Mulligans one evening.

Looking on at the slaps being thrown between the two men, an older reporter shook his sadly and said: "Journalists can't fight."

When someone agreed with him and said it was undignified and dragged down the reputation of journalism, he replied: "No, I mean they really can't fight. Look at the two of them, they're completely pissed, they haven't landed one single punch. Pathetic."

A breach of copyright?

Crippling recession? Check. Dallas due back on our screens? Check. Ireland playing awful football but grinding out results? Check. Women wearing shoulder pads and power suits? Check.

Mad people taking to the airwaves to pretend they have seen the Virgin Mary? Check, check and check again.

Yup, everything has all gone horribly '80s at the moment and surely the sight of thousands of dribbling cabbages turning up in a theme park in Mayo trying to convince themselves that they can see the Virgin Mary is irrefutable proof that the one thing this country has in abundance is gullible morons. Gullible morons who, if Liveline is to be believed, couldn't be arsed cleaning up after themselves.

And some people are extremely unhappy. Particularly Mary herself.

In fact, her lawyers have been in touch with Joe Coleman, the complete Bengal who has been duping the terminally dim witted into believing that he can see her.

In a strongly worded cease-and-desist letter, Mary's people warned: "As our client is currently appearing on a slice of toast in Mexico, it totally harms our client's image and exclusivity.

"You are interfering with our client's image rights, intellectual property rights, copyright and her ability to earn a living."

When contacted, Mary said: "This pillock is completely doing my head in. I'm booked for this gig in Mexico for the next three weeks. I can't be in two places at the same time, can I?

"After all, I'm not Padre Pio. Now there was a mad lad altogether."

Couch Potato Logging on ...

It's better than 24 and has a remarkably prescient track record when it comes to predicting real life events.

In the previous seven series, MI5 drama Spooks has predicted the London bombings, the global meltdown and the rise of a newly belligerent Russia.

Season eight starts on BBC1 at nine tonight and promises to be a cracker.

Spook-in-chief Harry has been kidnapped and the team are still trying to ascertain whether he is dead or alive.

Logging on ...

Producing a comic a day can't be easy, but Irish cartoonist Alan Moloney certainly does his best to stay topical and funny.

Check out wshd.net for more.

Irish Independent