Daniel Day-Lewis – AKA the world's greatest actor and Wicklow's favourite adopted son – is exactly the sort of serious thespian you might expect to find in theatre-land.
Except you never will again, probably, as Danny gave up the theatre for good when he saw the ghost of his dead father onstage during a production of Hamlet and promptly – and quite reasonably, most would agree – immediately quit.
Theatre's loss was Hollywood's gain: Day-Lewis looks on course for another Oscar with his current role as Lincoln.
You'd think that fans would knock one another out to get front-row seats to see The Fonz ( Henry Winkler) and Clueless star Alicia Silverstone in a play about, er, porn stars. You wouldn't? You were right! They didn't!
The combined pulling power of Alicia and Henry wasn't enough to save The Performers, which managed only seven full performances on Broadway this season before being consigned to history. Happy Days it wasn't.
Hollywood golden girl Julia Roberts (below), who earns more bread per movie than any other female actress, found out the hard way that theatre was a different beast.
She made her Broadway debut in 2006 in Richard Greenberg's Three Days of Rain and was rewarded with the following withering putdown from the New York Times's Ben Brantley: "Your heart goes out to her when she makes her entrance in the first act and freezes with the unyielding stiffness of an industrial lamppost." Ouch.