Inn search of encounters to woo my heart
A belle's winning smile had John Masterson planning pampered breaks in hotels to elevate his spirits
'I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel." Thus began one of Leonard Cohen's most famous songs. It recounted a chance meeting in the elevator of the iconic artistic retreat that was immediately followed by a memorable night in the bedroom. Many years later Cohen disclosed that the lady in question was Janis Joplin and he has spent the years since apologising for ever revealing her name as it was a touch ungentlemanly. He did introduce a note of self-deprecation by adding that she thought he was Kris Kristofferson!
I have always liked the idea that two human beings can make an instant connection. Not being an internationally recognisable rock star, my elevator rides have been less eventful. Until last week. I was enjoying a pre-dinner drink in a very comfortable hotel in the US of A when I decided to go to my fourth-floor room to collect my jacket before going out. I arrived at the elevator at the same moment as a bouncy Southern belle dressed in jeans and sweat shirt. She flashed me a smile memorable for several years' salary worth of teeth and asked me if I liked the hotel. By the time I had uttered "I do" the doors opened and in we went.
"I love this hotel," she enthused. "I always make sure to stay here once a month. You've got to come back." And with that we reached the fourth floor and, as she was continuing further, we said our goodbyes. Now the more discerning of you will have noticed that this was not quite a Leonard moment, but it did have the one important ingredient. We had made an instant connection. Should we ever bump into each other again anywhere in the world we will say "hello" and reminisce over a cup of coffee about the exquisite pleasure of the Inn at Biltmore.
Appropriately jacketed I returned to my companions and told my story. I particularly stressed the point that it was good to know I could still attract the attention of a stunning woman. They told me to get over myself and we drifted on to the real lesson of the encounter. We were all impressed that she made it a point to return time and again to a hotel that she loved.
I have a friend who is a connoisseur of good hotels. As a non-drinker he made the decision years ago to spend the money he would have gone through on the demon drink on pampering himself instead. I adore hotels. I love being greeted by friendly staff when I arrive. I love the first moments of exploring the room and checking the view. I like seeing what is provided in the bathroom and making sure there is a dressing gown. I then make sure the wi-fi works, order room service, and I am in heaven.
Our happy group exchanged hotel stories before all coming to the same conclusion. We do not treat ourselves half often enough and one of the good things about the recession is that there are lots of good-value breaks to be had in Irish hotels. Before you could say "room with a view" there was steam coming out of our iPads as the search engines threw up one attractive option after another. Before we headed for dinner, February was sorted.
If we are going to come through this mess that has been foisted on us by the greedy incompetents who ran this country, then we are going to have to work harder. That's fine by me so long as I can keep enough in my wallet to be able to play a bit now and again.
So, if you, like me are going to take the occasional well-earned break in 2012 then look out for me at the elevator. One good smile and you will have a place in my heart.
- John Masterson
