Independent.ie > Lifestyle > Independent Woman > Love & Sex

Rules of Attraction: Why do we have a 'type'?

Guy Ritchie's first squeeze since splitting from Madonna bears a striking resemblance to Madonna. When it comes to choosing a partner, history often repeats itself, says Chrissie Russell

Javascript is needed to use most of these tools:

Print
Text size

By Chrissie Russell
Tuesday Apr 27 2010

Recent photos of Guy Ritchie stepping out with a new lady friend will have given many people a curious sense of deja-vu. The British director was snapped arm in arm with model Jacqui Ainsley leaving a London restaurant last week. But it wasn't the venue or Guy's attire that had us feeling we'd seen it all before -- it was the filmmaker's choice of girlfriend. The cheek bones, blonde hair, side parting and clear complexion were all eerily reminiscent of ex-wife Madonna, albeit 30-odd years younger.

Of course, Mr Ritchie isn't the first man to display a penchant for identikit girlfriends. Being a leggy blonde appears to be a pre-requisite if a woman wants to date Rod Stewart; Bruce Willis' new wife bears an uncanny similarity to Demi Moore; and many of Tiger Woods' alleged infidelities are with seemingly less attractive clones of his Scandinavian wife, Elin Nordegren.

But why, if you've moved on, or you're considering straying from home, would you continue to go for the same thing?

Allison Keating, psychologist at Dublin's bWell Clinic, reckons many of us have a physical 'type' when it comes to dating.

She says: "People definitely have different attractions -- it's part of our whole sexuality that certain looks appeal to us on a very animalistic level.

"But I think there's a danger if a person will only date blondes or will only date men of a certain height. It places the relationship on very superficial and shaky foundation."

At root, mate selection is often evolutionary and based on making a match best likely to produce healthy offspring. So we get very attractive masculine types like George Clooney repeatedly going for ultra feminine, curvy women like Lisa Snowdon or Elisabetta Canalis because his high levels of testosterone and their high levels oestrogen create a perfect balance.

Or for similar reasons, we could be attracted to someone who is physically nothing like us. It's interesting that someone of Boris Becker's colouring has been consistently attracted to dark-skinned women.

Often we're attracted to someone physically different because on a subliminal level we want a partner who can balance out and improve our genetic pool by bringing something new to the table.

Allison says: "The rules of attraction are a huge area of interest in psychological terms. For instance, an attraction to blue eyes and blonde hair often goes back to the mother and a childhood love of brightly coloured, shiny things."

It's worth noting that Guy Ritchie's mum, Lady Amber Leighton, is also a blonde with excellent bone structure that belies her 67 years.

Allison adds: "The colour blonde is associated with youth and vitality so that idea of associating it with a good mate also comes into it." Which explains the stereotype of men leaving wives for young blondes, as women's hair darkens with age. But a love of young blondes can be even less scientific.

"Sometimes men just like a nice bit of arm candy," laughs Allison. "Particularly in the media where a lot of emphasis is put on having an attractive partner, men can feel under pressure to have a mate that is at least, or more, attractive than them."

Knowing that a man has a predilection for a certain look can be manipulated to a lady's advantage. Penny Lancaster wasn't blonde before she hooked up with Rod Stewart but soon fell in line with his tastes. And it seems almost too coincidental that Toni Terry should have lost her blonde locks and gone brown after finding out her husband had been led astray by a buxom brunette.

Of course, a more conspicuous conclusion could be drawn from the circumstances that prompt someone to recreate identikit partners -- they're not done with the original.

Much has been made of the fact that Katie Price, aka Jordan, seems to be styling her current husband, Alex Reid, to look like former love, Peter Andre. The perma-tan, spiked hair, the clothing that he's been sporting of late is eerily reminiscent of his predecessor. The model's attempt to influence her new husband in the direction of her ex's style is interesting as it was Andre who called time on their relationship -- not Price.

Perhaps being stripped of the decision-making has left her with unresolved feelings. But it's interesting that Andre followed up his divorce with a busty glamour model, Maddie Ford -- possibly neither half is ready to accept their four-year marriage is done and dusted.

Allison says: "It could be that the person is attracted by the sense that it's a familiar territory or it could be that they haven't actually got over that first relationship. Any new girlfriend who finds out she's an exact physical replica of an ex is bound to wonder 'is there still something going on there?'."

What's more interesting, perhaps, is that Guy's girlfriend before Madge was chiselled blonde, Tania Strecker -- could it be that she is the love he's endlessly trying to recreate?

Physically repeating a look is one thing but the danger comes when those features are backed up by characteristics that return in every relationship. Guy better hope blonde hair is the only thing his new love has in common with his ex because, to paraphrase Einstein, the definition of insanity is dating the same person over and over again and expecting different results.

- Chrissie Russell

Irish Independent