It was all so easy back in the day. Lads and ladies would line up in dance halls as Dickie Rock belted out the hits. They'd spot someone nice across the room, have a bit of a bop, decide they quite liked the cut of each other's jib and, a year later, they'd get hitched.

In the '80s and early '90s, there was the slow set in which those of us old enough to remember had a smooch on the dancefloor to the ghastly strains of Celine Dion and Boyzone. But slow sets are gone now, too, and as a result there's been a bit of a crisis for single folk.

Our generation has fewer excuses to talk to each other in pubs and clubs and make that all-important approach. Hence the popularity of new measures, such as speed dating and dating websites.

I've tried the latter. I went on six dates with perfectly nice fellas. But it was a lot of effort: each meeting was like a job interview, sharing life stories and intricate details that would never be relevant again. And ultimately, there was none of that vital ingredient: chemistry.

David Kavanagh, a psychotherapist and dating coach, says we all have the potential to pull anywhere, anytime. It could be the queue in a supermarket, sitting on a bus or browsing around a bookstore. The key is confidence. David runs a new singles night called 5GoFlirting in which he takes a group out to a popular night spot and coaches them in the art of flirting. They are then let loose into the night to prey on unsuspecting punters. He invited me to give it a bash.

The venue is Dublin's favourite meat market, Café en Seine, on Dawson Street. The nine o'clock posse meet inside the door; all nervous smiles. Among them is 39-year-old accountant Catherine (not her real name). Just back from Australia, she feels she's been out of the scene a while and needs a boost. She describes her flirting style as "the pits. If I saw someone I liked I wouldn't do anything about it".

Con, a 35-year-old engineer from Cork, recounts stories of unsuccessful chatting up attempts. "Their eyes would glaze over and I'd know I was failing spectacularly."

"Men are stupid," says David. "They misread friendliness as attraction. Most girls are nice; they don't want to hurt a guy's feelings. So they'll sit there and endure some dull conversation. It certainly doesn't mean they're enjoying it." By contrast, women are much better at giving out and picking up on signals.

The advice the likeable David imparts is no big revelation to dedicated readers of Cosmo and Glamour: it's all about effective communication and reading body language -- establishing eye-contact, mirroring behaviour, positioning. I did learn a handy nugget or two, though.

Apparently, when a man meets a woman he fancies, his eyebrows will involuntarily shoot up and his nostrils will flare. Though it evokes a worrying Mr Bean-type mental image, it's apparently a real giveaway.

Women are much more subtle and the signs of attraction are less obvious: playing with their hair to expose their neck and dilatation of the pupils. (Incidentally, scientists call this pupillometrics, which refers to the evaluation of one's pupil size as an indicator of interest or emotion.)

And interestingly, David says that 70pc of couples come into being because the woman makes the first move. He himself met his wife Joanne when she marched up to him in a pub and introduced herself. Catherine says she could never chat up a guy, that he might think she's easy or desperate. Does David think there's still a stigma attached to this? "I guess there is, but there shouldn't be. Men love being approached by a woman; they're flattered. It's a two-way street. Why should men have to do all the work?"

David believes that honing your flirting skills is empowering and rewarding. "You can take charge of your destiny. If you want to find a date, you will. It's about playing the numbers game: you chat up 10 guys, you might meet one you like."

All of this seems like a lot of work to me. Which might explain why I'm still single. I tend to go out to grungey, old-man pubs, where you can hear yourself think, and sit chatting to pals in a cosy corner seat. A big mistake, of course. If you're on the pull, you need to literally stand out; to see and be seen.

David gives us a task: to do a lap of the bar and find three people who catch our eye. Off we strut, armed with our newly acquired wisdom. We pretend we're looking for friends in the crowd, screening faces and feeling a bit like we're up to no good.

However, this particular night yields no joy. The 'suits' in Café en Seine just aren't my cup of tea. "Come on, now, there must be someone you like the look of!" says David, sending me off again. Three laps later, my feet are starting to hurt -- I shouldn't have worn those heels. I've forgotten where my arms are meant to be (folded or on hips is bad, as is biting one's nails, which my particular vice) and my face hurts from wearing what I imagine is an enigmatic smile.

Finally, I spy someone: a tall guy, brown jumper, bit of stubble and utter a 'Hi!' He looks behind him, startled, thinking I'm talking to someone else. Then his girlfriend arrives back from the loo. Sigh.

Chatting afterwards, Con feels that the night has been a useful exercise. Sally, from the 8 o'clock group, even got herself a date. Catherine isn't as so convinced. "A lot of it made sense alright but, well, it's not rocket science, is it?"

Did she feel inspired to take on the world? "I guess I'm feeling a bit braver now. But that could just as easily be the four vodkas!"

At the end of the day though, as David says, it's just meant to be a bit of fun; another way to help destiny do its thing. So after a quick last scout around Café en Seine, it's off to a nearby spit-on-the-floor pub for a pint and a nice sit-down ...

The next fivegoflirting event is taking place on February 29. For more information, contact David Kavanagh on 086 8989086 or check out his websites: http://www.5goflirting.com/ http://www.winedaters.ie/

- Anne-Louise Folely