Tiger Woods crash jokes: the best on the web
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By Matthew Moore
Monday Nov 30 2009
Once it became clear that Tiger Woods suffered only superficial injuries in Friday's car crash, the jokes began to pour in.
The mysterious circumstances of the collision combined with the punning potential of golf have provided plenty of material for internet wits to work with.
Here are five of the funniest Woods gags posted online so far.
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
Can you do better? Send us your favourites
Your jokes
Whats the difference between Tiger's wedge & his car?
At least he can clear a water hazard and a tree with his wedge...
Keith, Dublin
Gillette have dropped Tiger Woods from their advertisements because he admitted that his car crash was truly the closest shave he's ever had.
Siobhann, Dublin
What's Tigers' wife's favourite club?
A "rescue" iron
Martin, Ontario
Apparently Tigers's incident didnt happen at 2.15am, it was FORE am. He DROVE his car away but got WEDGED against the fire hydrant. He is trying to PUTT some SPIN on his story.
Patrick
Tiger's wife had terrible trouble finding her husband after the crash, she couldn't see the Woods for the trees.
Ken, Dublin
Tiger's form has been up and down this year but this is the first time he’s hit a fire hydrant and a tree on his drive.
Ben
Apparently the only person who can beat Tiger with a golf club is his wife
Marc
Did you hear Tiger is changing his knickname?
He now would like to be called Cheetah
Steve
After scoring a couple of beautiful birdies earlier on, Tiger finds himself in some serious trouble at the last hole, coming home.
Vincent, Dublin
What did Tiger say to his missus after she broke the window with his club?
Gee honey you'd make a smashing caddie.
Frank
Tiger Woods: Only man alive who can drive a golf ball further than his car....
Tom, Pennsylvania
Did you make it safely out of your driveway this morning?
Then you can say you outdrove Tiger Woods!
Paul, Chicago
Tigers’s last outing?
He got caught in a bad lie.
He drove into a tree.
He got caught in a bad lie again.
Then he drove into the water hazard.
Paul, Chicago
- Matthew Moore
© Telegraph.co.uk
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