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The beard is back

No male face can truly be considered stylish this season without a smattering of hair around the jawline. But which celebrity beard is right for you? By John Costello

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By John Costello
Thursday Mar 25 2010

Face fuzz caused the real buzz at this year's Oscars. Jeff Bridges, Keanu Reeves and a host of Hollywood's leading men decided to stop shaving and start misbehaving by ditching their razors.

So, while the '70s gave us industrial-strength sideburns, the '80s the mighty mullet and the '90s the devilish goatee, it now appears you're a nobody these days in Tinsel Town if you are not sporting a bristling beard.

Witness the hairy mugshots of George Clooney, Rob Pattinson, Jim Carrey and Sting. Indeed, hairy hysteria has reached such preposterous proportions that when Mad Men's Jon Hamm shaved off his blossoming beard in late January New York Magazine honoured its demise with an obituary.

But, while no male face can be considered stylish this season without the requisite face rug, not all celebrity beards are created equal.

So, which look from the long list of Hollywood's hairy hunks rocks your boat and which others don't?

The Hollywood Beard

The hunks from mega movie The Hurt Locker all whisked out their whiskers on the red carpet at the Oscars proving the 'Chewbacca' is this season's must-have leading-man accessory.

Antonio Banderas also created a buzz when he revealed his inner caveman after throwing away his razor in preparation for his new movie Knockout.

But don't be fooled -- The Hollywood beard is a power play. It is all about status and is donned only by those who know their career security doesn't rest on a close relationship with Gillette.

So, while the star can go all Wookiee, the wannabe definitely can't.

The Charity Beard

It doesn't matter whether you think Brad's is the 'Pitts' or that George's is not so gorgeous, as every celebrity committed to a cause has to grow a beard to signal their sincerity.

Yup, the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Justin Timberlake, Sean Penn and our very own Bono are sometimes so focused on saving the world they just don't have the time to shave. Psychiatrist and author of One Thousand Beards: A Cultural History of Facial Hair, Alan Peterkin, believes a beard allows a man "to change his public face," which can be helpful when you want to come across all earnest.

But Peterkin also believes Brad Pitt might have an ulterior motive for going all shaggy on us. Maybe he's simply sick of being one half of the world's most glamorous couple and is trying on ugly for size, suggests Peterkin. Well, if anyone's chiselled jawline can make a comeback, it's his.

The Rite Of Passage Beard

Some beards are a definite case of celebrities telling the world of their journey from boys to men. Take boy-band crooner Ronan Keating who now seems to have a tightly cropped beard permanently tattooed on his mug to underline his rite of passage from bubblegum-pop boy to manly muso.

Other evidence can be found on the chops of Elijah Wood and Daniel Radcliffe, who are also using their wispy whiskers in an audacious attempt to wave bye-bye to their boyish charm and beef up their manly credentials. Just let's hope a gale-force wind doesn't scupper their meagre attempts. Bless.

The Testosterone-Charged Beard

So, is the lumberjack look the modern day sex symbol? Well, the Greeks did regard the beard as a sign of virility, which may explain why Russell "Sir Shag-A-Lot" Brand is so attached to his mug warmer.

But even though he's now engaged to Katy Perry, our hero still seems intent on keeping well away from the razor's edge to prove to his beloved he is all man even when it comes to monogamy.

On the other hand, Joaquin Phoenix says he grew his bombastically bushy beard actually to avoid being a sex symbol. He confessed he grew out his stubble because he finds it uncomfortable being eye-candy, but then paused before adding, "Or maybe I'm just lazy."

The Beard Of Shame

Nothing cries crisis quite like the hastily grown face rug. When Mel Gibson spiralled into meltdown after his anti-semitic drunken rant at police officers back in 2006, he hid his shame behind a beard that would have made Saddam Hussein blush. Now, it appears, Ashley Cole has also begun phase one of some kind of breakdown.

Yup, the word on the street is he's grown a beard. Phase two will probably see him listening to Girls Aloud records in his Y-fronts with an empty bottle of whiskey by his side. But undoubtedly, given his past record, phase three will most likely manifest itself by the footballing star seeking comfort in the bosom of some buxom beauty.

The Sabbatical Beard

The off-season beard has a distinguished history in Hollywood. Looking all preened and cleaned for the cameras means that once actors step out of the limelight they often go grunge.

So that might explain why as Ben Affleck's acting career continues to stutter his beards seem to be getting thicker and thicker. Actor Jake Gyllenhaal also frequently sports a fuzzy face when in-between roles, leading to rumours he lost his shaving set somewhere up on Brokeback Mountain.

But regardless of the impetus, it seems as far as actors are concerned beards are the cat's whiskers at the moment.

So love them or shave them, it seems we are all going to have to just grin and beard it.

- John Costello

Irish Independent