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Chris heads for rocky old time in Iran
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By Pat Fitzpatrick
Sunday Apr 27 2008
IT'S been an up and down sort of week for Iran. It started badly when Hillary Clinton threatened to obliterate the country with nukes if she were elected president. Ouch! It can't be easy for such a proud, masculine country to take threats from a pleasant-looking little old lady in a trouser suit. But then, praise be to Allah and middle-of-the-road music, things started to look up later in the week with the news that Chris de Burgh plans to play Tehran this summer, making him the first non-Arabic musician to play there since 1979.
Local rock fanatics are bound to pack the concert, having been denied the antics of people like Liam Gallagher and Pete Doherty for so long. You've got to worry how they'll react, though when bad-boy Chris walks on stage and roars "Tehran, are you ready to rock?" I can see them replying with one voice, "Yes! Who are you?"
"I'm Chris de Burgh." "What?! We want our money back!" So he quickly launches into "Don't Pay the Ferryman until he gets you to the other side."
The crowd are having none of it. "Chris!" "Yes?" "Don't get us wrong, that is solid consumer advice -- although sometimes it is better to fix a price before the journey. But it's hardly rock 'n' roll. Any chance you could bite the head off a bat, tell us we rock louder than Turkmenistan and collapse on stage. You could at least spit at us."
"I've got a song called Lady in Red."
"That sounds more like it. What's it about?"
"A lovely lady in a red dress. I'm dancing with her, cheek to cheek. I've never seen her looking so lovely."
"Now we're getting places. Can you see her ankles?"
"Yes, they're not far from my eyes."
"Chris, that's filthy. What happens next?
"Nothing really. I just dance with her and repeat Lady in Red, Lady in Red."
"You decadent man."
Pat Fitzpatrick
- Pat Fitzpatrick
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