Bono's Gloria days may be fading away
A rattling U2 frontman makes Pat Fitzpatrick feel older
Pictures: Independent Woman
• amfAR cinema against AIDS
• Celebration of the Arts Gala
• What to expect premiere London
• Billboard Music Awards Red Carpet
• Men In Black 3 London Premiere
By Pat Fitzpatrick
Sunday Jan 27 2008
WHO'S that old guy in the pink glasses? Hopes that Bono had magically defied the ageing process were crushed last week when he appeared at the premiere of U2's latest film looking like a cross between Hurricane Higgins, John Hurt and Eamon Dunphy without make-up.
This is a terrible blow for Ireland's manhood, because as much as we mock old man Hewson for acting like a teenager, we take comfort in his chutzpah for sticking it to Old Father Time. If Bono stays young, we all stay young.
Well, not any more. It seems that Bono has finally left Tir na nOg to join wrinkly rockers like Jagger, Dylan and Springsteen in the "embarrassing agile seniors on final world-tour" category, which will make for a lot of changes in U2's live shows. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For will take on a certain poignancy as groupies will be brought back stage to help Bono look for his glasses ("I'm sure I left them over there by the Edge's knowing grin"). Adam Clayton will become Larry What's His Name and vice versa when he is introducing the band. And pulling people out of the crowd for a dance will now be done by a roadie, while Bono rushes backstage cursing his bladder and leather jeans.
Forget about uplifting song titles such as Vertigo and Elevation, the next album will probably be called Can Someone Turn Down that Racket, featuring songs like The Unforgettable What d'ya Call it, I Will Follow (once I've fed the cat and listened to Liveline) and Sometime You Can't Make it on Your Own, That's Where Zimmer Frames Come In.
- Pat Fitzpatrick
Latest celebrity sightings
