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Because I'm worth it...

More and more celebs are insuring their best bits, writes Declan Cashin. But if you want to cover your assets, be warned -- it'll cost you an arm and a leg

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By Declan Cashin
Tuesday Apr 22 2008

If you think your smile, legs or bum are worth a million bucks, then it's possible you might be undervaluing your attributes. It seems that everything does indeed have a price these days, and that even includes your sense of smell and taste.

Dutch winemaker Ilja Gort has just had his nose and sense of smell insured for e5m by Lloyd's of London. Gort, who runs an award-winning vineyard in Bordeaux, was gripped by the sweet smell of success, and took out the policy when he realised that his nose -- an organ that can distinguish millions of scents -- was just as important to his business as his taste buds.

It's not all wine and roses for Gort, however. His insurance policy stipulates that he may not take part in winter sports, boxing or fire breathing, nor can he work as a knife-thrower's assistant, become pregnant or commit suicide.

Gort's case is just the latest in a long and surreal tradition of people -- if celebrities can be so classified -- who have insured individual body parts. Indeed, Lloyd's of London has become the world's go-to firm when it comes to going out on a limb and determining the cost of an arm and a leg.

The origins of the bizarre practice have been traced back to the 1920s, when Ben Turpin, a silent movie star famed for his crossed eyes, took out a then huge $20,000 policy (worth the equivalent of e380,000 today) with Lloyd's against his peepers uncrossing.

Turpin's, er, vision, in turn, proved to be inspirational to some of his heavy-hitting celebrity contemporaries. Fellow silent star Douglas Fairbanks Snr was one of the first people to take out a so-called 'scar policy' by insuring his profile with the firm Fireman's Fund.

Soon after, singer Jimmy Durante -- aka The Schnoz -- insured his prominent nose, which was the source of his distinctive vocal sound, for $50,000, while German sensation Marlene Dietrich went further and covered her husky voice to the tune of $1 million.

Durante and Dietrich were among the first entertainers to safeguard their musical talents.

In recent times, rocker Bruce Springsteen has led the field in this regard, taking out a e4.4 million policy on the voice that gave the world albums like The River and Born in the USA.

Love-her-or-loathe-her Canadian chanteuse Celine Dion also took out a hefty policy on her moneymaker before she undertook her three-year stint at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, for which she pocketed e64 million, and even wild Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards, in one of his more lucid moments, saw fit to insure his fingers and hands for e1.2m.

A singer insuring their voice is a logical and practical move, but what of those stars whose USP is their looks and their bodies? Actress and WWII pin-up Betty Grable earned the nickname "million dollar legs" after her studio insured her pins for a cool, standard-setting million (a move later replicated by Angie Dickinson, Brooke Shields, Jamie Lee Curtis and Tina Turner), while acting legend Bette Davis, fearful that she could become too 'big' a star, took out a policy against her gaining weight for $28,000.

Indeed, insuring certain physical attributes became something of a norm not only for the A-list,but for the Double-D list too. Pneumatic country and western star Dolly Parton has her enormous 42-inch assets covered (for want of a better word) for e400,000, while Susana Alves, a Brazilian model and S&M icon, has had her bum, knees and ankles insured for e1.2 million. Elsewhere, Frank Jakeman, Britain's self-proclaimed Number One male stripper, also thought highly of his talents, insuring his prized appendage for e1.1 million.

The publicity gained from such moves is priceless in itself, and that's a lesson that has not been lost on our current crop of celebrities. Jennifer Lopez has entered Hollywood folklore thanks to rumours that she insured her famous booty for up to one billion dollars, claims that have been dismissed by top -- or should that be bottom? -- experts in the body-part insurance field (there have also been reports that Mariah Carey insured her legs for $1bn).

On a comparatively more modest scale, Ugly Betty star America Ferrera has insured her trademark smile and teeth for e6.4m, while closer to home, Lord of the Dance star Michael Flatley has insured his feet for upwards of e32 million.

Sports stars are also natural candidates for body-part insurance. David Beckham's legs and feet are reportedly insured for close to e45 million, while ex-Formula One champ Michael Schumacher was said to be covered for e13m. But feel pity for golfer Tiger Woods, who makes so much money from the game and his endorsement deals that it would cost him more than his average annual income from golf to take out body-part insurance cover against injury.

Finally, keep in mind the stars whose bankable body parts actually constitute a whole other person. Mutually dependent television presenters Ant and Dec -- aka Anthony McPartlin and Declan Donnelly -- have taken out policies that will pay both of them e2.5m should either one "expire" during the course of their chummy on-screen partnership or should they have some serious falling out. It's good to know that even friendship, like insurance forms, comes with a raft of terms and conditions.

Body parts and items that should be insured

n Dustin the Turkey: so he's not roasted alive at Eurovision next month.

n Hillary Clinton's memory: faulty, no doubt, but some great fiction-making ability in there.

n Lost star Matthew Fox's trademark stubble: because he is worth it. And because shaving it off would wreck continuity on the mind-bending TV show.

n Britney Spears' hair: just in case.

n Tom Cruise's reputation: before another Scientology video goes viral on the web.

n Joan Rivers' tongue: so sharp and cutting that it's bound to cause her an injury some day.

n Patsy Palmer's vocal chords: so that, on her return to EastEnders, she can wail 'Rickkkay!' with full-throated support.

n Madonna's arms: they look like they're about to burst from over-weightlifting any day now.

- Declan Cashin