Sunday May 1 2011

The worlds of showbiz, entertainment and media came together at Terenure College Church last Tuesday, to celebrate the life of the late, much-loved cabaret singer Anne Bushnell, known as 'Ireland's Little Sparrow.' It was one of the loveliest funerals ever, with music provided by Louis Stewart and the Fallen Angels, Anne's Hollywood-actor brother John Kavanagh reading a reflection in that gorgeous, mellifluous voice, and her niece, the actress Rachel Kavanagh, tearfully telling mourners that the chic navy blue dress she was wearing was a gift from 'Auntie Annie'.

And as the huge crowd spilled out into the warm April morning, the drama ratcheted up about one million per cent when after a suitably theatrical pause, the nation's favourite diva, Adele King, dramatically emerged from the church into the assembled throng, with former husband and celebrated oboeist David Agnew wrapping a protective arm around her.

The sight was all the more arresting because Agnew left Twink for clarinettist Ruth Hickey in 2004, sparking one of the most acrimonious showbiz break-ups. It reached a thrilling crescendo with the leaking of a shocking voicemail that the panto queen left for her former husband, when she learned that his son had been born.

Yet, at the funeral, there was no sign of any ill will between Adele and the "fat, bald, middle-aged d**khead" that she declared should "zip up his mickey". Adele told me later that she thought it was so amusing she ordered online some mugs bearing the phrase and when they arrived, her daughters Chloe and Naomi were horrified and gave out to her.

Telling me that she was "very sad" over Annie's passing, I couldn't fail to notice that it wasn't the normally glamorous Twink's finest moment. Wearing a staid casual black jacket and trousers combo, with her blonde hair tied up messily on top of her head and her face half obscured by oversized, and frankly unnecessary sunglasses, she was heavier and puffier than I've ever seen her. She was also very short of breath, possibly because she suffers from asthma.

As if the sight of her cosying up to her much-maligned former husband wasn't enough drama for one funeral, there was also the Linda factor to take into consideration. Standing 20 feet away from redoubtable Ms King was her former friend, performing partner and fellow animal-lover Linda Martin, although they may well have been on different planets, as they never once glanced in one another's direction.

The pair had been friends since the Seventies, but their relationship came to a dramatic end in Castlebar last year during a tour of Menopause: The Musical, when Linda overheard Adele talking about her derogatively to other cast members in the room next door through open bedroom windows.

"It really cut me, and I was absolutely devastated," she told me afterwards, in an interview at the time. "She was speaking about me, and the word c**t was used a lot. She said I had deep-seated emotional problems, couldn't sing, and she hated my voice. It just went on and on.

"The thing is that Adele and I go back to the Seventies, and I would have considered her a friend, certainly under working conditions. I have the highest regard for her talent as an actress, a comedienne and a dancer, and I think she's absolutely fabulous on stage. But whatever the hell was in her mind that night, she just took it out on me, and unfortunately it can't be taken back."

Linda said that her reaction was to cry "a lot" and then she called her good friend Louis Walsh, who gave her a lot of good advice. Ever the consummate professional, she got through the final night of the run, but she and Adele haven't worked together or spoken since.

"Friends to me are precious, and you've got to look after them, so while it was horrifying, I was able to fall back on my friends," said Linda. "It hurt a lot, but once I got over that, I realised that I wasn't any of those things that had been said. At first it made me wonder, 'Is there something wrong with me -- have I done something?' And then you wonder whether it's insecurity on the other people's parts that makes them behave that way, or is it a way for them of having control?"

A year on from the incident, Linda, who won my vote for best-dressed mourner at the funeral, stood with Ronan, her partner of 17 years, who was resplendent in a snazzy pin-striped suit, chatting to a host of showbiz types, including Johnny Logan, Derek Mooney, and newly engaged Karl Broderick. With long, dark hair that gleamed in the April morning, the trim singer rocked a black and white polka dot dress, leather jacket, killer heels and a black beret, (glamorously adorned with a diamante treble clef as a nod to Bush's incredible voice). In short, in the battle of the stage queen mourners, it was definitely Linda 1, Adele 0.

So when Agnew broke ranks and left Adele's side to go over to embrace Linda and Ronan, it was a heart-

stopping moment, given that we were all well aware that he was breaching enemy territory, so to speak. Ten minutes of pleasant chitchat passed between them, before he skulked back to join his former wife's circle, placing his hand protectively on the small of her back. For all the drama about his love life, he makes an unlikely-looking Lothario, with his balding head and dated hairstyle. Are he and Twink back together? Apparently not, was the consensus, as he is rumoured to be seeing someone new, having broken up with Ruth Hickey last year.

Either way, it proves the truth of something every woman I've spoken to this week agrees with. When you break up with a man, it can be the most bitter and nasty experience of your life, and you'll both say horrific and horrible things, but as the years go on, you'll probably forgive them and may ultimately become friends again. But when your friendship with another woman has been betrayed in some way, and they have done something awful to hurt you, you'll never, ever get over it. Maybe it's because we kind of expect men to break our hearts deep down, but we demand better from our women friends, and when they let us down, it wounds our souls and leaves a scar that can never be healed.

The Twink, David and Linda spectacle was, of course, a sideshow to the main event, which was the passing of a great talent and a lovely, warm lady. Although I couldn't help smiling at the thought that Annie B herself would have loved it, as she was as fond of a bit of drama and good gossip as the next person!

Originally published in

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