I know only too well how hard it must have been for Donal óg to come out to his family, friends and colleagues
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By Declan Cashin
Quite honestly I never thought it would actually happen. A leading GAA hurler, Donal óg Cusack, has come out as gay, which is a milestone in the history of this country's gay rights movement.
In fact, I believe this is a development that will do as much, if not more, for the perception and understanding of gay people in this country than any protest march or piece of legislation ever could.
In a weekend that saw Stephen Gately's husband Andrew Cowles acknowledged as such -- rather than 'partner' or 'boyfriend' -- at the Boyzone star's funeral, Cork goalie Donal óg made his own advancement in gay visibility by revealing his homosexuality in a new biography entitled Come What May.
Writing as a gay man myself, I cannot convey to you how proud I am of Donal óg, and how momentous an event this is for gay men and women in this country. There have been huge advances made by gay people in this country over the last 20 years, and though things are far from perfect, more gay people now feel confident and secure enough to live their lives openly and proudly.
This hasn't been the case for sports people, however. It's perhaps not that surprising that Donal óg is the first high-profile sportsperson to come out. Homophobia in sport is a huge problem, both on the terraces and in the changing rooms, where 'arse-to-the-wall' humour is notoriously prevalent.
Changing the culture and ethos of sporting organisations to make them more tolerant and inclusive is a task far greater than anything Donal óg can do himself, but his courageous honesty is a great place to start.
Let's be honest: nobody would raise an eyebrow if another pop star or actor were to declare their homosexuality. I've always believed that it would take a sport star's coming out to shift the debate about being gay in Ireland into another gear.
Now everyone in this country might realise, if they hadn't already, that gay people are everywhere. We are in every line of work, in every walk of life. As Michael Barron from gay youth group BelongTo says: "There is no 'typical' young gay man".
And yes, that includes the world of sport. How many soccer or rugby players, or GAA colleagues of Donal óg, are reading this article right now, thinking to themselves, 'I'm gay too but I don't know if I can ever come out'?
It's a big decision for anyone to make. I can't imagine what it's like when someone has to do that in the public eye, and in a sporting environment that places traditional (ie heterosexual) notions of masculinity at its very core.
I mightn't be a public figure, but I know only too well how hard it must have been for Donal óg to come out to his family, friends and colleagues. I did it myself over several years from my late teens to early twenties. At the time it seemed like a huge deal, and it was, but with hindsight I wonder what I was so terrified about.
That's a testament to how positive my experience of coming out was. I suppose at that point I felt that life couldn't possibly get any lonelier or scarier than it was when I was keeping it all to myself, so my attitude was, 'What have I got to lose by being honest'? All I lost were some wretched closet doors that I never, ever want back, and all I gained was a life now full of potential and opportunity.
One of the biggest lessons I learned from my own experience was the extent to which I had underestimated people. I was particularly anxious about how I would tell my four brothers, all of whom are avid and well known sportsmen at home in Kilkenny.
I was surprised to find how cool they were about it. It's not because my brothers are horrible people (mostly!); it's just that I never thought they'd be able to get their heads around it. I see now how insulting that is to their intelligence. I'd assumed they'd get upset if I told them I was gay; I never thought they'd be upset that I had never confided in them beforehand.
It makes all the difference when people can put a face to the term 'homosexual'. It makes us more real. Every family in this country has at least one gay person in their midst; they just mightn't know it yet. Once people know a gay person, it -- in the majority of cases -- challenges and soon destroys any negative preconceived notions that they might have had about gay people.
That's what is so significant about Donal óg's coming out. It sends a tremendous message to young people, who might be still in school, terrified to tell their mates on the soccer or hurling team that they much prefer Brad to Angelina. I wish there had been more people like Donal óg when I was younger. Never doubt the power a good example can unleash.
Without overstating things too much, it's similar to Obama's election in the US. It sets a precedent to inspire future generations: anything is possible. Sexuality, like race, should not -- need not -- hold you back from anything you want to achieve in life.
Donal óg would probably be the first to point out that there is much more to him than his sexuality, and that is undoubtedly the case. I'm excited for him, because I think that he will be learning now how great people can be, and how his bravery will open up his life to all the wonderful experiences and people he deserves. He's done gay people in this country a huge service, and I wish him all the very best, come what may.
Irish Independent
