• Speak in 'Toddler-ese' – use short phrases, repetition and mirror – a bit – of your child's feelings (with your tone of voice and gesture).
• Use the "Fast Food Rule" – you talk to a toddler (or anyone) who's upset and always repeat his feelings first.
• Reward your toddler for "green light" behaviour every time you see him being good. If you're using a lot of time-outs, says Karp, there are not enough time-ins (attention, praise, rewards).
• Teach patience: If your toddler asks for something, agree to the request (if reasonable) but then pause for five, 10, or 15 seconds before giving it to them.
• Get some help. Karp believes it's uncivilised to be raising children without some assistance from family members or friends. Don't try to be Super Mum or Dad. Ask for help.