How to judge a man by his jocks . . .
Briefs, boxers or G-strings, the undies he picks can be very revealing, writes Deirdre Reynolds
Image posed
Related Articles
Tuesday December 01 2009
You should never judge a book by its cover -- but now at least it's OK to judge a man by his jocks.
From loin cloths to long johns, jockeys to G-strings, the subject of men's underwear has evolved long beyond the perennial 'boxers vs briefs' debate. But a new survey has revealed one constant through the years: even today's metrosexual man still doesn't buy his own.
Department store Debenhams found that women not only wear the pants in most families -- they buy them too.
Lazy bum blokes tackle buying their own undies for just 17 years of their adult life, according to the chain. And either side of this sliver of responsibility, it falls to their ma and, later, Mrs to perform the reddening task.
"It's odd that even the most macho men delegate the duty of buying new underpants -- the garment closest to their masculinity -- to women as soon as they can," Rob Faucherand of Debenhams says. "I'm sure Freudian analysis of this trait would give us all an insight into human relationships."
But in the meantime, what lies beneath trousers everywhere is up for a different type of analysis. Professional, slacker, smug-married or love-rat, it's easy to tell a man's status by whether he's sporting crisp tighty whiteys or well-worn Y-fronts. A man splashing out on flashy new knickers, for instance, is definitely on the pull, the findings reveal.
"You can tell when a man is looking for a partner by the number of new underpants they buy," Rob Faucherand adds.
"If (a man) buys more than 31 pairs every year, he's either still trying desperately to impress the women in his life -- or else she's not 'The One'."
And age, as well as romantic entanglement, determines whether his bottom drawer is stuffed with smalls to suit David Beckham -- or Homer Simpson. While trendy 19- to 26-year-olds like to peacock in tight briefs, the more mature 26 to 33 set prefer to mask their modesty in roomy boxers. Sensible Y-fronts are the favourites among over 33s -- although you can blame the ladies for that one as most men stop buying their own pants altogether by the age of 33, according to the study.
But with the advent of the male G-string among others, it's no longer simply a case of boxers or briefs.
"The great boxer versus brief debate is not as straight forward as you might think either," jokes John Hayes of Jockey Ireland. "Boxer shorts come in two types: tight or loose. The tight ones, which have plenty of support, tend to be for sporty guys with a good physique, while the loose ones are usually worn by heavier guys who like a bit of air.
"Briefs also come in two types: trendy, skimpy ones often seen on our Eastern European friends and the traditional Y-front, favoured by guys progressing in age and especially bought by wives of older men."
But unlike their British brethren probed by the study, John says men here no longer shuffle shamefacedly into the underwear section.
"For the most part, men buy their own underwear," John defends. "But, of course, women often feel like they might need a replacement! Older guys tend to let their wives buy for them as they don't like to shop for anything.
"Men are spending more on themselves in every field and underwear is no exception," he adds. "In these recessionary times, our multipacks are flying off shelves. Men -- and the women who shop for them -- look for a good brand at a good price and once they try our product, they usually come back for more. We men are creatures of habit!"
- Deirdre Reynolds
Irish Independent
