qPlease help me. I'm trying to get my wife to lose weight and exercise because she looks like some- body heading for a heart attack. She is very obese and only five foot three and almost all the weight is on her stomach area.
She used to be quite an outdoor type, but no matter how much I try I can't get her to either come with me for a walk or a bike ride, although there are some lovely areas nearby where we used to go. She always puts me off and says we will do it very soon but it never happens.
I really love her and am at my wit's end. I've told her I'm worried about her health – she's on blood pressure tablets already and all the extra weight that seems to keep going on must be a health risk at this stage.
I still find her beautiful although I know she doesn't believe me but I'm really worried. We have a few kids and the weight gain started with the first pregnancy and seemed to get worse with each child.
I know too that she eats all the wrong food and have suggested that we go on a diet together but once again she just put me off saying that she has enough to be doing with the kids and the house and not to worry her about dieting. She reads your column so maybe she will take it all more seriously if you answer this.
AI can feel the frustration and anxiety in your letter. It must be really difficult for you when you realise that your wife is putting her life in danger and is not prepared to do anything about it.
You have done everything that you should in trying to get her to change and there is really nothing more that you can do because the change has to come from your wife herself.
Even though smokers know that cigarettes are bad for them they will not actually give them up until they themselves decide to, no matter how much their loved ones tell them that they should. In the same way, overeaters have to make the decision to exercise and eat sensibly for themselves.
I realise that this is not what you want to hear from me, but that is how it is. As your wife is attending a doctor to get her blood pressure medication you could have a word with the doctor and let him or her know how worried you are.
They will not be able to discuss your wife's health with you due to patient confidentiality, but it may help you offload some of the worry you are feeling right now.
Your wife is probably fully aware of the dangers of her current lifestyle, but somehow has not been able to motivate herself to change.
Let's hope that she finds that motivation before it is too late.