Fifteen-year-old schoolgirl Lauren Dunne's guide to the world's favourite social-network sitePossibly one of the most annoying plagues in the land, this creature simply doesn't know when to quit
With more than a billion users, Facebook has become the most popular social networking site in the world. The concept is simple: stay in contact with the people you care about, and those distant second cousins that bulk up your list of friends.
With Facebook, you can't customise your page, like MySpace, or pester your friends with irrelevant questionnaires like Bebo – yet it totally eclipses both competitors, despite its plain design and uninspired features.
We will now be embarking on an enlightening tour of the various creatures that inhabit this blue and white realm, introducing you to their habits and domains. Please buckle in tight, and keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times.
Facebook provides almost totally uncensored freedom of expression and it takes a lot to incur the wrath of the mighty Zuckerberg team.
They allow the creation of controversial events such as "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" and intentionally offensive pages such as "The Ultimate Nikki Minaj Fanclub". Much of the attraction of Facebook is a certain degree of anonymity: you control what people see, and you can say anything you like to as many people as you want.
This, unfortunately, has created a perfect breeding ground for the internet troll, those sad little creatures who insult and antagonise from safely behind their computer screens, free from repercussions.
While they wouldn't say boo to a goose in the real world, these are the depraved souls who mock others, create posts and pictures designed to offend and accuse those foolish enough to challenge them of being unable to handle their edgy, unbridled comedy.
It's best to ignore them and leave them to die off.
Facebook tells a fairytale of interesting lives and absorbing people, each more surprising than the last. That guy across the street – when did he get that Lamborghini? Is your aunt's social life really that exciting?
It's a sad little war that has no winners, leaving only tears and inferiority complexes in its wake.
The Dark Lords