Wednesday 24 May 2017

Top five... Beauty Queens

Rolene Strauss. Photo: Getty
Rolene Strauss. Photo: Getty
Aishwarya Rai. Photo: Getty
Marjorie Wallace. Photo: Getty
Helen Morgan. Photo: Getty
Ulla Weigerstorfer: Photo: Getty

As Sarah Carey talks to Rosanna Davison, Pat Fitzpatrick takes a look at some others who have held the title of Miss World.

1 ROLENE STRAUSS

A message from the Feminists of Ireland (FOI): On behalf of the current holder, Rolene, and all women, can we say how disgusted we are at the name Miss World? A reply from the Ordinary Men of Ireland (OMI): We hear you. How about Miz World? A reply from FOI: How about we celebrate that they got rid of the swimsuit round this year? OMI: We hear you. Women walking around in bikinis is ridiculously outdated these days. Most of the ladies on the internet are in the nip. FOI: Jesus.

2 MARJORIE WALLACE

The 1973 winner was dethroned because she dated too many celebrities, including George Best. You would have thought that the first clause in any 1970's beauty pageant contract would read: "The winner will be expected to spend a night with George Best in a swanky hotel. After that, you can get back to sorting out world peace and working with children." Another of Marjorie's high-profile dalliances was with Tom Jones. Again, back in the 1970s, that was not unusual. Sorry.

3 HELEN MORGAN

The 1974 winner from Britain had to give up her crown when it emerged she was an unmarried mother. It looks like the organisers back then were basically looking for nuns in bikinis. "There's a great idea for a calendar to raise some funds and fix the roof on the convent," says you, picking up the phone to call the Mother Superior. "You'll carry it off with God's help", says you. "Not to mention Photoshop," says she, under no illusions.

4 ULLA WEIGERSTORFER

That's easy for you to say. As long as you're from Austria. If you think that the 1987 winner of Miss World sounds a bit like the name of a cheap lager from Lidl, then you're not alone. Of course, Ulla isn't just a pretty face with a lovely personality. She recently rose to prominence in an Austrian political party formed by businessman Frank Stronach. The party is called Team Stronach. Our guess is, Frank doesn't suffer too much from self-esteem issues.

5 AISHWARYA RAI

The 1994 winner is now a famous Bollywood actress. A Bollywood movie usually features people in odd clothes, dancing and singing in strange voices for hours and hours. It's thought they get their ideas from Irish weddings. The three biggest male stars in Bollywood actually share the same surname, and are known as The Three Khans. We suspect they are borne along on the shoulders of fans. Someone has to carry the Khans. Ah, stop.

Sunday Independent

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