Friday 30 September 2016

Slovenly ways documented in HD - I beg pity

Aine O'Connor

Published 29/06/2015 | 02:30

The Boychild aka my eldest born, recently-turned-nineteen-bearded-baby-boy and one of the great loves of my life, has been involved in the filming of a TV programme. Set to run on RTE in September it's about young people looking for work and most of it has been filmed out and about, following his efforts to make his own work because finding a first job is so difficult.

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Some of it has been shot in our house however and while the Boychild is one of the great loves of my life, I also sometimes want to thump him. He has dyspraxia which means, as he is the first to say, that organisation is not his forte. As a result of a million forgotten/lost homeworks/books/sports kits/keys/phones/everythings he has become a master of adaptation. Every cloud has a silver lining 'n' all. But it can be headwrecking.

In terms of people filming in the house, what this means is that the one and only time our home is going to be on TV, it's a bleeding mess. The Boychild, busy with his assorted thoughts, forgets to tell me they're coming until the day, which is usually Thursday, almost as far from the weekly clean day, Saturday, as you can get. And invariably if he does remember to tell me in the morning it's the morning of a day when I am not going to be home to tidy.

There is something about scrutiny that increases filth. The house that I can merrily arrive home to every day and not even notice is suddenly, when gazed at through the eyes of impending visitors, a tip. And it smells of dog. And when gazed at through the eyes of impending visitors with a camera, it's like an episode of Hoarders.

People aren't going to see the mess and think; "Gosh, the man of that house is a rubbish housekeeper," or "The children of that house haven't vacuumed for a few days. Or weeks."

Instead you're all going to think I'm a slovenly slattern, and whilst I may have hinted at such a thing in the past in semi-jocular fashion, it's quite another to have it documented in bloody HD. Of course mostly it bothers me that it bothers me. But basically I'm asking for pity here.

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