People are talking: For the Stones, it's (not) all over now baby blue
Published 25/07/2016 | 02:30
The old adage about rolling stones gathering no moss needs updating for the 21st century. The Rolling Stones amass offspring at an alarming rate.
With Mick Jagger announcing that he's to become a father for the eighth time with his 29-year-old girlfriend, ballet dancer Melanie Hamrick (a woman who is significantly younger than some of his children), and 68-year-old Ronnie Wood's wife having twins, the four veteran performers (who have a collective age of 286) will soon have 19 kids between them.
In any other circumstances, a 72-year-old great-grandfather having an eighth child with a fifth woman would be fodder for The Jeremy Kyle Show. And imagine if this was a famous woman in similar circumstances. No matter what her age, she'd be called every ugly name there is. Given everyone is now living longer, this may not be Mick's final contribution to the human race.
Senators miss the point as Pokemon Go takes to House
Bet you’re glad we didn’t get rid of the Seanad now. Because otherwise we would have no one to debate the pros and cons of Pokemon Go. The app made the floor of the second house last week, praised for its ability to help tackle our obesity crisis.
Talk about missing the point. Pokemon Go has nothing to do with fat Paddies. It is in fact a wake-up call. Everything we thought we knew about human beings is clearly wrong. The thinking for millennia was that we are a rational, self-conscious species in pursuit of happiness. It turns out we are just monkey-people in pursuit of virtual pets. If you doubt this, take a quick look out at your back garden. That 27-year-old woman rummaging through your bins while staring at her phone, she’s playing Pokemon Go. And she’s the future.
Who knows what the Seanad might discuss next to stay relevant. Game of Thrones maybe? Some wag might point out that it’s like the Fine Gael party, but with powerful women. And they’d be right.
Enda for (SF) president
Oh my God, they killed Kenny. Well, not quite killed, and not quite yet, but Fine Gael plotters are certainly closing in on the Taoiseach. And now the Dail’s shut down, they have the whole summer to plan their next move.
Enda’s not the only leader in trouble either. There are even rumblings in the ranks of Sinn Fein, with one cumann chairman calling on Gerry Adams to stand aside and “give a young, more dynamic person a chance”.
What a cheek. Gerry’s only been in the job for 32 years, one for each of the counties of Ireland. Give the poor guy a break. He’s just warming up. You wait until he gets settled in and shows us what he’s really made of.
If he does get kicked out, bookies should start taking bets on how long it will be before Adams denies ever being in Sinn Fein too, like he does with the IRA.
As for Enda, he’s spent the last week talking about his plans for a united Ireland. Is he pitching for the job of Sinn Fein president if that becomes vacant around the same time he becomes unemployed?
Stranger things have happened. OK, not really, but it would definitely make for a lively Leinster House when those TDs finally return from their summer holliers.
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