Thursday 29 September 2016

I tend not to listen much when married friends of mine offer me their pearls of wisdom about dating, which they invariably always do, even the ones whose last date was sometime in the last century when going steady meant sitting down the back of the bus together, and getting a drink meant sharing a can of Cidona.

Published 03/08/2015 | 02:30

I tend not to listen much when married friends of mine offer me their pearls of wisdom about dating, which they invariably always do, even the ones whose last date was sometime in the last century when going steady meant sitting down the back of the bus together, and getting a drink meant sharing a can of Cidona.

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It's not that I don't care for them, I do. It's just that I've a low tolerance for people talking bollocks. I'm far more receptive to them when they're talking about something which they have a clue about, something on which they're an authority. I mean, you wouldn't care much to listen to a nun tell you how to liven things up in the bedroom. She wouldn't have a clue about it, not if she's kept to her vows, anyway.

Or a better example still, you wouldn't pay much heed to a man's opinion on who deserves a Nobel Prize, not when he's broken international treaties, invaded two of his neighbours, annexed an entire region and implicitly supported the persecution of minorities in his own country.

But like Ukrainian sovereignty, Vladimir Putin couldn't give a fiddlers, he'll do whatever. Which last week was telling the world that he believes that Fifa's Sepp Blatter deserves a Nobel Prize. Yes, that's Sepp Blatter who's presided over the world's most notoriously corrupt organisation for 17 years, which leads me to question, what other accolades would Putin reward. By his Blatter logic, Morrissey would be meat-eater of the year, Kanye West world's humblest man, and Shane McGowan world's soberest. No wonder there's a new Cold War.

Sunday Independent

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