Life Homes

Saturday 23 August 2014

10 rage-inducing moments every house-hunter experiences

Published 11/06/2014 | 02:30

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For Sale signs in Rialto.
Pic Frank Mc Grath
House prices are rising, and so is the demand.

Death, divorce and buying a house are the most stressful times we can experience. Here are 10 scenarios very familiar to anyone in the market for a new house.

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1. Over-subscribed open houses

Vainly attempting to get upstairs as seven other people wait on the landing trying to get down, awkwardly crowding into the bathroom with strangers, aimlessly opening cupboards as you wait for someone to clear out of the room you want to see…

2. Old adverts on property sites

You think you've found the house of your dreams but a call to the agent says it's now sale agreed — and yet there it is, still on the website, mocking you.

3. Blurred (geographical) lines

Kimmage is not Terenure, Ringsend is not Sandymount, and on the other side of the M50 and half-way up the Wicklow mountains is not Rathfarnham.

4. That rogue house in your property search

You've filled in the search criteria of location and price and the property at the top of the search results looks almost too good to be true… which on closer inspection turns out to be the case — it's three times your budget. Why do property websites stick these rogue ads at the top of searches? It's too, too cruel.

5. The obvious omission

Arriving to a property to  discover a train line/ damp problem/ €3,000 per year maintenance charge curiously missing from the brochure write-up.

 

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6. Inflexible appointments

Why ask “when would you like to view the property?” when the reality is the agent/owner is going to stipulate a 20-minute window of opportunity on one evening that week and it's the evening you're working late?

7. Wide-angle lenses

Whoever said “the camera never lies” had clearly never experienced the brochure versus reality world of house-hunting.

8.Estate-agent speak

“Delighted to present”, “a leisurely stroll from”, “viewing advised”…suspiciously like code for “we're going to make a mint on this”, “quite a distance away” and “there's already an offer on it 50k above the asking price”.

9. The 'third bedroom'

Actually a downstairs dining room/living room or a cupboard that would struggle to accommodate a camp-bed.

10.  'Priced to sell'

A phrase that could be loosely translated as 'a wildly misleading, low asking price guaranteed to provoke a bidding frenzy'.

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