Wednesday 26 October 2016

‘When my mum died I promised her I’d look after him, I really tried’ – Woman’s letter to Ryan Tubridy on cutting off contact with alcoholic dad

Published 20/01/2016 | 10:08

Ryan Tubridy
Ryan Tubridy

A WOMAN has described to Ryan Tubridy how she was forced to cut off all contact with her alcoholic father.

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Yesterday on his RTE Radio One show Tubridy covered the issue of when people are forced to cut off contact with a family member.

“The piece touched a chord, and the reaction all day yesterday was enormous”, he said.

He then proceeded to read a letter from a woman who had to cut off contact with her alcoholic dad, despite promising her dying mother she would look after him.

“I had to cut my father out of my life a few months ago, he’s an alcoholic who has been getting worse over time, particularly over the last few years”, she wrote.

READ MORE: Anorexia survivor Aoife (18) opens up to Ryan Tubridy: 'You can recover and things do get better'  

“This summer marked a turning point when he appeared to choose alcohol over us – he was drinking every day.

“When my mother died I hadn’t spoken to my father for several years, and when my mum died I promised her I’d look after him. I really tried. For years we visited at least one day a week, and we spoke to him every night.”

She said she found the long calls draining, but would continue with them nonetheless.

READ MORE: Woman tells Ryan Tubridy she's postponed her wedding as sister with Down Syndrome is 'living out of suitcase'  

“The drink began to take over. He told me one day he had driven up the mountains thinking it was daytime, but as he drove back he realised it was night time. When I realised he had been drunk driving I tried to get him to see a doctor but he refused.

“His texts became abusive and we decided enough was enough. Now Ryan I know this isn’t the end, and I know this won’t end well, but for now at least all I can do is protect myself from a horribly toxic situation.”

Tubridy said that the woman’s situation was ‘awful’.

“That’s awful, but you hear that from families with addiction, you have to just stop contact. It’s the nuclear option but apparently that’s what the experts say.”

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