Saturday 3 December 2016

Mindful moment: How to move on from a bad relationship

Marianne Power

Published 03/04/2016 | 02:30

We must make peace with past relationships before moving on to a new one
We must make peace with past relationships before moving on to a new one

I recently interviewed a dating expert and she had an unlikely piece of information that stuck with me.

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She said that before we are ready to meet somebody new, we must first make peace with all our past relationships - otherwise we go into new partnerships holding too much baggage or we are still so affected by our hurt, we don't move on to new relationships at all.

She helps her clients to let go with an exercise called 'looking for the gold'.

First, on a piece of paper write about the person you were with, then write down everything you learned from that relationship. No matter how unhappy it was, it will have taught you something.

It could even be that you learned you never want to date a heavy drinker again. Or that you want somebody who puts you before work. Or that you need someone who gives you more space.

Then, thank that person in your head, rip up the paper and mentally say goodbye to them. Now you are ready to move on.

* Marianne Power is the author of helpmeblog.net

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