Thursday 27 April 2017

Ice cream 101: The good, the bad and the ugly

We take a trip down memory lane and look at the heroes and villains of the freezer

The dearly departed Fat Frog
The dearly departed Fat Frog
The formidable feast
Magnum
Twister ice pop
Golly Bar
Hiawatha
Solero
Iceberger
Dracula ice pop
Wibbly Wobbly Wonder
Maxi twist

Sarah-Jane Murphy

One of the (few) highlights of an Irish summer is devouring your iced treat of choice, while basking in the (short lived) sunshine.

Irish people scoff nearly 250,000 ice creams per day during the months of July and August, HB recently revealed.

While individual tastes may vary, there is general consensus that the most talked about HB ice creams, past and present, fall into one of three camps - the good, the bad and the downright ugly.

The Good

Fat Frog

The undisputed king of the freezer. A Facebook page petitioning for the return of Fat Frogs currently has 165,000 likes. The mouth-watering amphibian ranks highly on every ice cream aficionado's hit list. HB Ireland said that they are aware of the campaign but currently have no plans to revive the cult classic.

Feast

Solid, reliable and satisfyingly chunky, the Feast is a firm favourite that has gone the distance, and beaten off it's sexier rivals over the years. The idea of putting a solid bar of chocolate in the middle of an ice cream was utterly genius.

HB's range of products in 1986
HB's range of products in 1986

Twister

Aesthetically, its the prettiest ice cream in the freezer . The Twister is towering tangle of explosive fruit flavours that just begs to be licked. The combination of pear and raspberry sorbet topped with vanilla ice cream is mesmerising.

Magnum

It is said that the Magnum is the ‘sports car’ of ice creams. Why? Because it's undersized and extravagantly priced – but feels classy as hell when you get into them.

Twister ice pop
Twister ice pop

 

The Bad

Golly Bar

The Golly Bar landed HB in hot water in 1992 when it was alleged that the name had racist connotations. Consisting of a slab of vanilla ice cream perched on a stick, it tasted mildly pleasant but lacked any real imagination.

Solero

The name says it all. Pretentious. Pseudo-foreign. Over ambitious. No nicer than a Super Split but nearly double the price.

Iceberger

Magnum
Magnum

One word - soggy. The Iceberger is like a digestive that's soaked up too much tea. This ice cream is a damp block of disappointment.

Dracula

This ice pop had the ability to stain your teeth, tongue, face and hands like no other. Mixed fruit flavour, minus the fruit. And Mammy could tell you were eating before your dinner. Never good.

 

The Ugly

Hiawatha

The bold combination of vanilla, lemon and chocolate just didn't work. Like the orange cream in a box of Roses there were always plenty of Hiawathas left languishing in the freezer on scorching hot days.

Wibbly Wobbly Wonder

Apart from its catchy name, there's nothing positive to be said about this one. Logic dictates that you don't put pepper in a pavlova so why put jelly in an ice pop?

Maxi Twist

Still hugely popular in theatre auditoriums, this 80's classic tastes like somebody has poured toilet duck all over your dessert.

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