Saturday 21 October 2017

Drunk tanks a boozer's delight

It's Christmas Eve. You're in the drunk tank. And if new proposals in Britain are adopted here, it could cost you about €500 to get out.

Our neighbours have had enough of paying for piss-heads to sleep it off.

They are calling for a new disincentive where, after a night of heavy drinking, you could be charged a fortune to get out of a privately run drunk tank. Or as it's known in Dublin on the weekend of a major sports event, a hotel.

There's the reason it might never work here. You know the way prices go in Dublin when there's a big event in town. The drunk tank might actually be a cheaper alternative than a room in a city- centre hotel.

Particularly when you consider that the cops would have to drop you over there, which also saves on the price of a taxi.

It's not hard to imagine people coming up for a concert and dropping their bags to the drunk tank before heading off to Temple Bar. "Does the charge include a full-Irish when I wake up, chief?" "It does not." "Grand, I'll make sure to have two burgers so, before I get done for peeing on Grafton Street."

There is of course another reason why a drunk tank would never work here. Being sent to one anywhere else in the world would be a form of public disgrace. End up in Hotel Drunk Tank here and you'd probably put it straight up on Facebook. Followed by 200 comments saying "go on, ya boy ya".

Pat Fitzpatrick

Sunday Independent

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