Top 10 Tips from a Lazy Mum
1 Put an apron on each of your kids and tell them to play 'cleaners'.
2 Is your baby crawling yet? Strap dusters to her hands and knees and set her to work on the kitchen floor.
3 When you can't be bothered to cook dinner bundle the kids in the car and take them on a special treat to McDonalds. Try to ignore the fact that you've already taken them on three special treat trips already this week.
4 Don't bother dressing toddlers unless leaving the house. You will save hours of washing time.
5 If you play board games with your kids don't bother explaining the rules properly -- it gives you a get out clause for whenever you want to leave the game. 'Oh look I'm on a yellow square -- that means you won'.
6 Tired of clearing up the kitchen? Have dinner on the floor with paper plates and tell them it's a picnic.
7 Homework. Never be afraid to delegate. Get the oldest to oversee the others' work. This prepares them for a supervisor's role in later life.
8 Never empty pockets before putting trousers in the washing machine. With a bit of luck a stray conker or Crazy Bone will break the machine giving you the perfect excuse never to wash clothes ever again.
9 Invest in two or three cord-free phones and plant them in the children's rooms. This will enable you to issue instructions remotely without having to get out of bed.
10 Bribe with aplomb. Appeal to children's basest competitive instincts by challenging them to race each other to complete tasks, such as tidying their rooms, in exchange for a coin (ideally a brown one).