Friday 9 December 2016

'Remember that they are adults'

Published 10/10/2011 | 05:00

Caroline Gillick is from Raheny, Dublin, and is mother of three children between the ages of 11 and 21.

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Dealing with an adult child is very different to the other phases, says Caroline.

"They're out of your control and you don't need to babysit them or make lunches, as they're past that. You've built up a relationship all along so when they get to 21 you maintain it. It can be difficult dealing adult-to-adult.

"You're in the mind-set that you're still in control, but the way they look at it is that they are on the same level as you.

"So if you're asking them to do something like help with the housework it can be difficult because they have their own agenda. You have to try and remember that they are adults.

"My daughter is my eldest so I'm learning to treat her as an adult and hopefully it will come more naturally with the other two."

Caroline's tip is to build a relationship with your child from when they are young.

"Talk to them about the books they like or the films they like -- know what is in their world. When you get to 16 or 17 you'll need to talk about important stuff and if you have been talking to them all along about unimportant stuff they can do it more easily.

"Be prepared to compromise. Treat your adult child as an adult -- and remember, it's not always easy!"

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