Men see partners as mothers not lovers after the birth of a baby
Published 01/12/2011 | 08:21
HUSBANDS develop "baby blinkers" after their wives give birth and see their partners as mothers rather than lovers, according to research.
More than three in four women say they have less sexual intercourse after they have children, according to a poll of more than 3,000 mothers.
Almost half of respondents (43 per cent) feel that, since giving birth, their partner has forgotten the sexual woman they originally fell in love with.
A third (33 per cent) believe that, to their man, they fit only into the category of "mother", according to the survey by Netmums, the parenting website.
When asked which words their partner used to describe them now they have had a child, just two per cent say "sensual" and only 12 per cent "feminine", compared to almost double saying "sexless" (22 per cent), more than half choosing "reliable" (53 per cent) and 69 per cent "tired".
A man's "baby blinkers" could explain why more than half of mothers (51 per cent) think that their relationship has moved to platonic parents rather than carnal couple.
More than one in five mothers (21 per cent) admit that their partner no longer sees them as sexual after motherhood and more than three quarters (77 per cent) admit that they have less intercourse after the birth of their child than before.
Being pushed by their partner into being "just a mum" has led to mothers developing "mumnesia", with 40 per cent forgetting who they were before they had children.
Almost half (42 per cent) admit they have lost touch with trends and fashions and more than two in five (41 per cent) have lost their self–love, feeling "mumsy" and hating their post–birth bodies.
These mothers do not have their nearest and dearest to turn to in times of need either, as it is not only their men who make them feel this way. More than five out of six of those polled (86 per cent) say they are treated as more mother than woman by all those closest to them.
Siobhan Freegard, the co–founder of Netmums, said: "Being a woman is part of being a mum.
"Having children is life–changing, but shouldn't mean that you edge towards 'mumnesia'.
"Mum and woman shouldn't exist separately – every mum is both and they should be celebrated and nurtured.
"There's no reason to feel guilty about finding time to spend on your appearance and your hobbies or interests. 'Me' time is hard – but not impossible – to find and a little goes a long way in helping us keep hold of the real me."