Angela Scanlon on always taking the weather with us
Published 10/05/2015 | 02:30
It's grand today. A bit dull. Oh Jesus it's lashing rain. Great drying out there this evening. I can't cope, it's so hot. Where did that come from? Summer already. This might be it so enjoy it while you can. I'll have to dig out my coat again, it's Baltic. Sure you can't depend on it. Typical, as soon as the exams start the sun comes out. Typical Ireland.
We do it every day in every situation, no matter what weather we're talking about it. We go on and on, and on about the skies and the wind and the precipitation. We are obsessed with the weather. The way it falls, how it blows, is it hot, is it not?
This week has been particualrly colourful, weather wise. Weather is the bane of our lives, a collective national obsession and the thing you talk about when natural, interesting conversation escapes you. It's our crutch and it's not just for biddies down the shops or the lads before a match. I do it myself: "What's it like over there? Ah yeah, same here. Although it looks like it's trying to break through." I actually weep a dry, internal tear when I hear myself talking, wondering whether this means I'm finally old or at least mature enough to be sober enough to care about the weather.
Of course it's important - it makes us happy or it makes us sad. We blame our moods on the dreary days and winter months. We would be happier if only we had weather like they do in Sydney or Fiji or California. "You wouldn't choose to be anywhere in the world but Ireland when the sun is out." We would never have recession, we wouldn't have emigration, we would probably win the Eurovision if only the man upstairs in the clouds (not by the gates) would give us a break.
It shouldn't matter but it does. We should be used to the unpredictable nature of our weather system, the fact that low fronts and high pressure and the notion of sun, rain and snow in one day mean absolutely nothing because the weather likes to make an eejit out of you. It lulls you into a false sense of security, it messes with your head. It hears you talking about it all the bloody time, whispering and cursing, never considering its feelings for a second.
So when you dress in the AM in a beautiful floaty summer dress, it remembers your tutting and damning and drowns you like an unsuspecting puppy. Of course you could pack an umbrella, it's Ireland after all, the chances of rain are pretty high - but no. You forgive and you forget too easily, and you assume this time it'll be different. We deserve better, a summer that lasts longer than a week, that actually starts in summer and gives us an excuse to don a bikini and man sandals (not together). We don't learn, we never will, sure it's part of our charm. Sure, if we had decent weather, what the hell would we talk about?
On always taking the weather with us
"If you're going to do something, do it right or don't do it at all" - a sentiment uttered by my Dad many times, mostly in my teenage years when the mere effort of breathing was a drag. It's something I try to do every day and 'try' is the important word in that statement. It doesn't always happen, I sometimes eat crisps in bed while writing this column, but I do try my best to be my best at all times. Your turn.
make an effort
I have always wished I was a twin. Identical ideally, so I could cheat in school, mess with people's heads and also have a full-on telepathic partner in crime. The thing is, I think I've finally found her, except she's a he and he has four legs - but we've got the same hair and we both love sunglasses, so it's basically perfect. Meet Toast. This delightful little King Charles Cavalier Spaniel is a phenomenon on Instagram with over 230,000 followers, and has even fronted fashion campaigns, such as this one for Karen Walker eyewear. We are going to be very happy together. I can feel it.