A SUICIDAL heroin user charged with the murder of a taxi driver told gardai he was like a caged animal as he ran around his flat armed with a kitchen knife.
Lloyd Buckley (39) said he may have called to the bedsit of Michael Healy (62) seeking help as he contemplated stabbing himself with a large kitchen knife.
When Mr Buckley first contacted gardai, he said he could not live with himself after claiming he stabbed his neighbour in the head with a knife.
"I am so sorry . . . I only wanted help. I knocked on the door. I stabbed him in the head. I went there with a knife and stabbed him. I only wanted to die. I should not have done what I did. I cannot live with it," he told gardai.
Mr Buckley denies the murder of Mr Healy at Flat G, 3 Rocksprings Terrace, Cork between September 18 and 22 2010. The defendant lived at Flat F, 3 Rocksprings Terrace.
Mr Buckley has admitted the manslaughter of Mr Healy but the Director of Public Prosecutions has refused to accept the plea to the lesser charge.
The Central Criminal Court trial heard that Mr Healy died from multiple blows to the head inflicted by a heavy, blunt object. The taxi driver suffered such severe blows to the head as he lay on his bed that fragments of his skull were driven into his brain and his left eyeball was forced into his brain cavity.
Mr Buckley, in garda interviews conducted on September 24 2010, said that he had been contemplating suicide at the time.
"I must have f***ing went off me head, like. I must have called because he (Mr Healy) is dead, like. I was the one with the knife, like. I just remember running around my flat with the knife . . . would I sink the knife into my chest off the wall," he said.
Mr Buckley, who hasn't worked as a mechanic for 15 years, said he was depressed and sick of his drinking.
"I was like a caged animal with the walls closing in," he added.
Mr Buckley told gardai he was on Diazepam and sleeping tablets but would also drink up to 12 cans of beer a day. That weekend he had also consumed a bottle of vodka and had "blacked out". He had also started taking heroin.
"I just said, f** it, I'll go for it (heroin). I tried to get heroin alright that night. (But) people didn't have it," he said.
He told gardai he was very confused over events that weekend. "I don't know . . . if I knew 100pc that I did it I would be on a plane. I was coming off gear and I don't know what I was capable of."
The defendant later insisted to gardai that if a heavy, blunt object was used to kill Mr Healy then he could not have been responsible as he only had a knife.
Mr Healy – a native of Grenagh and a father-of-two – worked as a taxi driver in Cork for more than two decades.
The trial continues next Tuesday.