Only after a power walk to the car will I reveal my fate
I don't think I'm alone in feeling that the Leaving Cert seems about five billion years ago. After almost two years revolving around ring binders and revision books, you'd be surprised at how quickly us sixth years have sunk into a summer of blissful nothingness.
Each day has blurred into one continuous stream of streaky sunburn, flip flops and debs accessory shopping. It's a wonder how fast any sort of self-discipline built up over the past two years falls quickly by the wayside thanks to beach weather and barbecues. Looking back, results day seemed more of a myth than an actual rainy cloud, drawing ever closer over this endless summer.
But now, the exam anxiety that had almost become foreign to us has returned. That same feeling of dread I had going into English Paper One has made an unwelcome return. The last week has been constant mental analysis of worst/best/likely outcomes.
After much deliberating, I've decided to go through the whole ordeal solo. I will drive down on my own without the comfort of being in the middle of a parent sandwich, giving myself peace to have a mini panic attack in private. Fellow drivers in the Dungarvan vicinity beware!
Then, I will scuttle into the school as fast as my wobbly knees will carry me, snatch that dreaded white envelope from my principal and run for the hills.
Personally, I don't see the comfort of surrounding oneself in a gaggle of friends to open one's results. Only after I power walk back to the car will I reveal my fate. Unfortunately, the real kick in the teeth is that your results are only grades, not points. This leaves you with the arduous task of calculating how many points you get (which will probably be wrong the first 20 times) with shaky hands and a calculator.
Then and only then will I call home with the conclusion. If it's good news, there will be tears and if it's bad news there will be tears.
Ellie Walsh was the 'Irish Independent' Leaving Cert diarist 2014. She is a former pupil of Ard Scoil na Deise, Dungarvan, Co Waterford.