Real Life: 'I couldn't even say my own name . . .'
Life's simplest tasks, like making a phone call, can be cripplingly difficult if you have a stammer
Progress: Sharon Gavillet's whole outlook has changed since getting help for her stammer
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WHEN my brother David was younger words often failed him.
He would try to say something, and for a split second, as he struggled to make himself understood, I would feel uncomfortable but this quickly disappeared when I thought of the fear, embarrassment and shame he must be feeling. That's because my brother had a stammer.
When David, who's now 27, was a few months old, my parents brought him to many speech therapists who said he was just slow to develop. Maybe it's a mother's intuition but my mum knew this was not normal and having seen the words come instinctively with me as a baby, it was obvious something was amiss.
As years went by and he was diagnosed, I remember standing up for him in the tennis club when young children jeered him for physically struggling to get the words out.
"I have stammered since I was a small child," David recalls now. "When I was really young the only words I could say were 'mama' and 'dada'. I was frustrated that speech therapy didn't help me and my stammer just got continually worse.
"I was teased in secondary school, which really affected my confidence. Then in later years it would affect my confidence introducing myself to girls in a club," he says.
As a family we had to learn to let him finish his sentences. Being a fast-moving household this tested everyone's patience, and at times we had to reprimand ourselves, swearing next time to maintain eye contact and be patient.
Fear
There is no known cure for stammers, or stutters as they are also known. Some are more severe to the listener, like in the case of my brother, however others learn to conceal them; these people are known as covert stutters. Four times as many males are affected by the condition compared to females.
Interestingly, people don't tend to stammer when they sing and perhaps because of this it used to be the norm to hear David perform his new favourite pop songs in the confines of his bedroom.
In fact it was the singer Gareth Gates, also a stammerer, who inspired my brother to conquer his ailment and seek help. Gareth is now an instructor on the McGuire Programme, which has given David a new lease of life since he joined.
The McGuire Programme takes a practical and positive approach (see panel) to beating speech difficulties, many of which are focused on breathing.
Founded by David McGuire in America in 1994, it has been operating in Ireland since 1996 and is run by recovering stammerers.
Over 1,300 people have joined the programme here and they attend weekly support group meetings and quarterly workshops.
Public speaking for those with a stammer is obviously no fun but when they attend this course they quickly realise they are among fellow sufferers who have experienced all the embarrassments and fears that they too have suffered.
Sharon Gavillet (38) from Meath is an accounts technician and has always had a stammer but only recently decided to get help via the McGuire Programme.
"In the last few years I felt my stammer had become worse and felt it was time to get help," she says.
"I would try to get other people to make phone calls for me and when I really needed to use the phone I would spend some time trying to work out what I wanted to say so I would only use words I was comfortable with," she says.
Although Sharon has only been in the programme a few weeks she feels she's already made progress.
"I am now able to make phone calls for myself -- simple calls like making appointments and ringing for a take-away. I am more confident within myself.
"As well as having problems with saying words I also had an issue saying numbers. Working within an accounts department this was causing me a lot of anxiety," she says.
Rory West (27), from Kildare, works for Irish Rail and is another success story of the McGuire Programme. He began experiencing speech problems at the age of three.
Growing up, Rory often felt embarrassed by his stutter as people would regularly walk away when he was trying to say something because they didn't know what else to do.
Since joining the programme three years ago he has become a much better communicator.
"Back in 2007 I was avoiding all speaking situations and it got to a point where I couldn't say my name or address in most situations.
"Within a work environment I am now taking meetings and doing presentations -- these are things I would have never done before," he says.
Rory uses the weekly meetings to practice a work or college presentation or any speaking situation coming up in his life.
"I have come a long way but I still need to put the work in."
Recovering
Emmet O'Connell (45), a course instructor on the McGuire Programme, cannot remember a time he didn't stammer.
"I had silent blocks and couldn't get a word out. I repeated words, backtracked on sentences and went around in circles. I stammered like a machine-gun at full blast. It was embarrassing and made me feel stupid, humiliated, frustrated, and in the end afraid -- I thought I was afraid of speaking.
"I realise now that it was in actual fact a 'fear' of stammering. This fear took over my life until I was 38 years of age.
"I asked myself a question on a regular basis -- why me? I made my stammer bigger than me; I believed that this was how people saw me," he says.
Emmet was well used to people finishing his sentences.
"I would go with whatever they said as I couldn't say what I wanted to anyway," he says.
Emmet joined the McGuire Programme in 2004 and says he no longer feels labelled by his stammer.
"Now I don't let my stammer control what I do. It has become a very small part of who I am," he says.
Apart from the McGuire Programme, speech and language therapy is available for people with stammers, either through therapists who work for the HSE, or in private practice.
for more information:
- www.stammering.ie
- www.stammeringireland.ie
- www.iasltpp.com
- Alison O'Riordan
Irish Independent
