When given the choice between going to a doctor with a not-so-common bodily malfunction and suffering in silence, most of us would rather stick with the latter.

Of course we've been told for years that the medical profession have seen it all. Still, there's a world of difference between your local GP examining wonky nipples and him examining your wonky nipples.

To take the pain (and potential shame) out of a doctor's visit, we've asked VHI's medical director Dr Bernadette Carr the awkward questions you were waiting for someone else to ask.

Why are my feet so smelly, even after I've showered?

One word: bacteria. "In the proper conditions, the bacteria which lives on dead skin cells and oils contained within your skin, begin to grow," says Bernadette.

"For some 10-15pc of people the smell is even worse because their feet become excessively sweaty and become home to bacteria called Micrococcus Sedentarius."

If you still get some stink after a shower, it's likely you haven't dried your feet properly, as bacteria thrives on dampness.

"To prevent it, it is important to wash your feet by fully immersing them in a foot bath of mild disinfectant at least once a day and to dry them thoroughly after so that no dampness remains," advises Bernadette.

"Wear socks made of cotton or wool that will absorb any moisture from sweat and there are anti-bacterial socks now available.

"Buy a foot powder or a disinfectant spray. The powder will keep your feet dry and the disinfectant will kill the bacteria. Finally, don't wear the same footwear every day and if they become damp or wet leave them to dry naturally and completely before wearing them again."

I haven't been able to have penetrative sex with my partner for months. We've been able to do it in the past, so what's wrong now?

Keeping in mind that the vagina is designed to pass a human being through it, this is certainly a symptom that needs to be addressed.

"Vaginal tightness, or the difficulty or inability to allow penetration for intercourse, is the primary symptom of Vaginismus," says Bernadette.

"Vaginismus occurs when the vagina is unable to relax, thus preventing penetration. The condition of Vaginismus is not uncommon, even if a woman has a history of enjoyable and painless intercourse."

More often than not, the problem is psychological as opposed to physical.

"Some women may be suffering stress caused by recent or past sexual trauma, or fear of performing sexual acts," reveals Bernadette. "However, it may also be due to a vaginal infection, the physical after-effects of childbirth, tiredness or some other cause.

"You really should seek your doctor's advice as treatment for the disorder varies."

Why do I sweat so much, even when I'm just sitting at my desk?

You are not alone: excessive or uncontrollable sweating -- hyperhidrosis -- affects three per cent of the population. "Excessive sweating can be triggered by a range of different external factors, such as environmental temperature, anxiety, physical activity, and spicy food," says Bernadette.

"The exact cause or causes of hyperhidrosis are unknown, but it appears to be due to over-activity of the body-temperature centre in the brain (the hypothalamus) or of the sympathetic nerves that control the sweat glands."

As embarrassing as excessive sweating is, the good news is that it is highly treatable. Over-the-counter treatments like Anhydrol Forte are widely available. This topical deodorant is applied at night to allow it to block sweat glands overnight. For more extreme cases, Botox on the area might be an option.

My tongue piercing has gone yellow. Help!

"Don't worry, it is quite normal for a yellow film to develop some two or three days after the piercing has been done. This is the normal matter your tongue generates as it heals and will usually disappear after a few days.

"You may also see a whitish circle around the barbell under your tongue. This is the tongue's version of a scab and it too will also disappear within a few days.

"Use a good non-alcohol anti-bacterial mouth rinse which can be bought from your pharmacist."

I think I might have worms. How do I know for sure?

Threadworms are small, thin, white, thread-like worms between two mm and 13mm long.

"They're the most common and reside in the colon and so are not usually visible during the day," says Bernadette. "However, female threadworms tend to lay eggs at night and can sometimes be seen on the skin surrounding the anus, which can become itchy.

"It is important to resist scratching the area as eggs can be transferred under the nails to re-infect. Treatment is essential as threadworms are highly infectious and uncomfortable for the patient. A variety of agents are available without prescription from the pharmacy."

What is symmastia?

You might know this better as the 'uniboob', where the skin in between the breasts appears joined after plastic surgery, almost giving a webbed effect.

"It occurs when implants come too close to the midline of the chest," explains Bernadette. "This results in a lifting of the skin from the chest wall. This usually happens as a result of the overly aggressive release of the chest muscle during implant surgery, extending the release to the mid-chest.

"Correction of this condition via breast-revision surgery usually involves removing the implants and closing the space in the middle of the chest with internal sutures."

I have lots of tiny white spots around my eyes and eyelids. What are they?

This unsightly but quite common condition is called milia -- tiny cysts or whiteheads that appear in clumps on the face.

"Sometimes they develop in areas of the skin that have been traumatised, due to eyelid surgery, burns (including severe sunburn), radiation therapy, heavy use of steroid creams, or other skin problems," reveals Bernadette.

"They aren't known to be a sign of any serious underlying disease, however.

"If they aren't bothering you, they can usually just be left alone. Sometimes they will fall off more quickly if you hold a warm, wet washcloth to them for several minutes, several times a day. However tempting, don't try to pick at them or remove them yourself, the way you might with a blackhead, because they can become infected and may cause scarring. Your dermatologist may suggest their removal, and he may even be able to do this procedure in the office."

I'm worried I might have pubic lice. What exactly is it?

A different critter to the common-or-garden headlice, pubic lice are more compact and crab-like. You'll know if it's there because of the itch.

"Fortunately, the cure is relatively easy and inexpensive," says Bernadette. "The treatments -- over-the-counter lotions and shampoos -- are the same as those for head lice. All such remedies are equally effective.

"If you're pregnant, you'll need to use a specially formulated product called Eurax.

"Even after the lice are gone, you may still feel itchy for a couple of days. It takes time for your irritated skin to heal. A warning though: never use a dangerous home remedy like kerosene or gasoline; these substances are flammable and highly toxic."

What can I do about incontinence, and what causes it?

There are two main types of incontinence: urge incontinence and stress incontinence. "The former happens when a person needs to go to the toilet urgently, and leaks," says Bernadette. "It happens because of the inappropriate contraction of bladder muscles.

"Stress incontinence is the leakage of urine in response to any physical activity that raises the pressure inside the abdomen, such as sneezing, coughing, laughing, bending down and even walking."

Predictably, it's a situation that is socially awkward, and causes a number of hygiene issues. If you think it's a problem, your doctor will take a full medical history and perform an examination on you.

"Blood samples may be taken to check for the presence of diabetes and to check the kidney function. A urine sample may be checked for a urinary-tract infection."

Again, incontinence is easy to get under control: "Mild symptoms from whatever cause may be managed with incontinence pads or by changing underwear during the day. Restricting fluid intake, particularly caffeine, after 6pm may help. Pelvic-floor exercises are very important in treating this condition, as they allow the person to voluntarily contract their pelvic-floor muscles."

What can I do about chronic stretch marks?

Stretch marks aren't just for new mums; anyone who has gained or lost a lot of weight in record time will also notice stretch marks on their boobs, stomach and thighs.

"They appear as pink or purplish lines but will fade to thin silvery lines," states Bernadette. "Contrary to popular belief, stretch marks are not directly related to the extent to which your skin has to expand. They are more likely to be connected with the collagen and elastin content of your skin.

"There are a number of products on the market designed to prevent stretch marks. The majority are just intensive moisturisers and there is no guarantee that they will work."

What is vulvodynia?

"Vulvodynia is an uncommon but puzzling syndrome in which women feel chronic pain in the vulva, that is the clitoris, the pubic mound, and the labia," says Bernadette.

"Women with the condition describe the pain as a burning, itching, rawness, or stinging, particularly during urination. Because the pain can be so excruciating, they may be unable to have intercourse or even wear tights or stockings."

Some sufferers have no visible signs of it, but the typical symptoms can be intense. So far, researchers have little idea of what exactly causes it.

"It's not a sexually transmitted disease," says Bernadette. "Researchers think it may result from irritations caused by laundry detergent, soap, scented toilet paper, douching, feminine hygiene spray, or scented tampons or sanitary napkins.

"Some medications, such as antifungal preparations used for yeast infections, have allegedly caused vulvar pain as well.

"Many women with vulvodynia have also been plagued by recurrent yeast or herpes simplex infections, or have had genital warts or the painful bladder condition known as interstitial cystitis.

"If you can tolerate underwear, wear all-cotton underpants and put them through an extra rinse to minimise a detergent residue," advises Bernadette. "Avoid douches, feminine hygiene sprays, and tampons, and use only cotton sanitary napkins.

"And drink a lot of water; some studies suggest that this relieves burning during urination."

To teach the muscles down below how to behave themselves, Kegel exercises (pelvic-floor exercises) are also recommended.

A decade in high heels means that my foot is misshapen. Have I got bunions?

Stiletto fan Victoria Beckham (right) is the famous face -- or rather, foot -- of this common complaint.

"Certain foot types can make a person prone to developing a bunion," explains Bernadette. "Although wearing shoes that crowd the toes won't actually cause bunions in the first place, it sometimes makes the deformity get progressively worse more quickly."

There are a number of early treatments and precautions which can ease the pain of bunions, but they won't reverse the deformity itself.

"Choose shoes that have a wide toe box and avoid wearing shoes with high heels and pointed toes.

"Bunion pads can be bought at most local pharmacies and can help to minimise pain or discomfort.

"In other cases, custom fitted orthotic devices may be provided by orthopaedic consultants or sports-injury specialists which will perfectly match with your own foot shape."

Irish Independent