Mulcahy: Dodgy predictions from Lionel the goldfish
In a bid to tap into the global fame of the late Paul the Octopus, TV3's afternoon show 'Late Lunch' have been relentlessly pushing the introduction of their sooth saying goldfish, Lionel.
Alas poor ole' Lionel has been hopeless at getting the results right, but that doesn't seem to bother the ever chirpy host Lucy Kennedy.
"It's a great way to get people to 'tuna' in," Kennedy said.
Really? Given the show's sliding ratings, perhaps a flounder would have been a more suitable choice of fish.
* Gerry Adams isn't exactly known for his subtle sensibilities.
This was shown during the nailbiting Leinster Hurling Championship clash between Galway and Kilkenny in Tullamore at the weekend.
"Blow it up ref!" the Sinn Fein leader instructed the referee after Joe Canning took his equalising penalty near the end.
* 'Moone Boy' creator Chris O'Dowd can add another string to his bow.
The writer, director and actor is also a gifted "personal shopper" according to his other half Dawn O'Porter.
Dawn, known for her blunt-cut bangs, is always dragging Chris to vintage and second-hand outlets.
"He's a great personal stylist," she enthused. "And loves coming round all the shops with me."
Keep telling yourself that, love.
* Diners at Matt the Threshers in Dublin were taken aback last week when Tom Vilsack, the United States secretary of agriculture, popped by.
Mr Vilsack got the tip-off from Michelle Obama – who dined at the restaurant this time last year with her daughters Malia and Sasha – and tried out the legendary Carlingford Oysters.
"He just wanted to come in, keep a low profile and eat some top-notch seafood," a spokesperson for the restaurant said.
And what better way to a keep a low profile than arriving with a cortege of Secret Service agents and An Garda Siochana in tow?
* Producer David Collins took a stand for the 'yoof' of today during UTV Ireland's industry do last week. Keen to stress what the brand was about, UTV bosses projected clips from some of their highest rating Northern Irish shows.
These included programmes like 'Lesser Spotted Ulster' and 'Rare Breed' – a show about cattle farming in the six counties.
Not everyone was impressed.
"Those programmes seem a little old," Collins told managing director Michael Wilson afterwards.
"Watching the show reel I couldn't help but wonder – are there actually any young people living in Northern Ireland?"