And the winner is. . . who exactly?
The BAFTAs (BBC One), a two-hour display of preening egos, was much like the IFTAs (RTÉ One), only with bigger stars and a classier presenter -- Simon Delaney somewhat lacking the gravitas (or maybe just fame) of Stephen Fry.
Also missing from the IFTAs were captions to inform us who the hell was up there on stage at any given moment declaring themselves "gobsmacked" as they brandished awards on behalf of various movies and TV shows.
At the BAFTAs there were countless shots of George Clooney and Brad Pitt as they put on the performance of their lives by smiling ecstatically as rival actors picked up awards they'd both assumed were destined for them.
Meryl Streep was there, too, in all her benign regal glory, which meant there was no need for the queen to attend.