Thursday 25 May 2017

April Fools: Guerilla conservation group releases bears in Kerry and Donegal cliffs unveil 'glass walk'

Roundup of the April Fools Day stories circulating online.

O'Connell Street, Dublin
O'Connell Street, Dublin
Independent.ie Newsdesk

Independent.ie Newsdesk

'Modest' Conor McGregor, Keeping Up With Geordie Shore, Republeggs and removing the spire - here's our roundup of today's best and worst April Fools attempts.

God Has A Man Bun

McGregor: 'It’s absolutely madness. We are after being on the tour and every city has blown us away and then we come here. 67,000 (applications). We need to start building mega-stadiums here. 150,000 I’m talking. I am blown away. Blown away'
McGregor: 'It’s absolutely madness. We are after being on the tour and every city has blown us away and then we come here. 67,000 (applications). We need to start building mega-stadiums here. 150,000 I’m talking. I am blown away. Blown away'
Smack talk: Conor McGregor makes you sneer and cheer
Conor McGregor at the Convention Centre, Dublin where a questions and answers session was held with Jose Aldo, ahead of their July 11 World Championship fight in Las Vegas.
UFC featherweight Conor McGregor during a media day. The Convention Centre Dublin, Spencer Dock, North Wall Quay, Dublin. Picture credit: Ramsey Cardy / SPORTSFILE
UFC featherweight Conor McGregor, right, grabs the title belt from UFC featherweight Champion Jose Aldo during a fan event. The Convention Centre Dublin, Spencer Dock, North Wall Quay, Dublin. Picture credit: Ramsey Cardy / SPORTSFILE

In perhaps the most believable story of the day, ASOS announced that they have started selling 'clip-in man buns'. We figure this one's fake, but you never know.

 

Walk on the Wild Side

In more local news, the 'Ireland's wildlife' website reports that 'Guerilla conservation group releases bears in Co. Kerry'.

The group, named 'The Bear Face of Conservation', have been steadily relasing the bears into the Irish countryside, inspired by the "balance that apex predators (bring) to local ecosystems".

Irelandwildlife.com report that the group "don’t anticipate any major problems as long as people leave the bears alone.”

 

Discover Ireland

According to Donegal Now, a new 'clear glass cliff walk' is being unveiled in Co. Donegal today.

They report that the "800 metre walk on glass hugs the steep sea cliffs at Slieve League in south-west Donegal".

Those who might not be able to complete the walk are supported by "local enterpreneur Sean Mac Dollair Nua" who has "set up a simulator in the Car Park where you can pay just €5 and experience the walk - without actually doing it".

However, if the attraction does not take off by midday it "will have to be scrapped".

 

English for the Irish

Irish language website Tuairisc.ie report that they are to launch an English-language version, aimed at Irish people who can't speak Irish. It's too real.

 

1916 celebrations

The main RTE April Fool's story discusses 'modest' Conor McGregor following his press conference in Dublin yesterday and ends with the sportsman quoting TS Elliot. (Read more below)

Meanwhile, over on Radio One, they are going with a 1916-centenary related story which claims the Spire is to be removed for a period of two weeks to allow for 1916 celebrations. The story claims the removal would cost €500,000 (far too low to be realistic, we feel) and that extra taxpayer money will be used to place the giant needle in storage.

Separately, reporter Avina Laff writes into today's 'Irish Daily Star' that the Government are planning to mark the 100th anniversary of the1916 Rising next year with English Easter eggs.

The chocolate eggs will have the GPO printed on them, the newspaper reports.

The eggs will be known as 'Republeggs' and are set to become collectors items. Flavours include 'Almond De Valera', Praline Pearse' and 'James Caramelly'.

 

Keeping Up With Geordie Shore

The Mirror reported that Geordie Shore star Vicky Pattinson, who has launched a fitness DVD and line of supplements, has been hired as Kim Kardashian's new trainer after meeting her at the Brits and "chatting about fitness".

Despite the hilariously bad photoshop on an image of the two women to make them appear together, American news website Sugarscape picked up the story and ran with it. To give them credit, it wasn't yet April Fool's Day in America so maybe we should cut them some slack.

 

Ingredients for Love

Tesco have even jumped on the bandwagon, issuing a press release on their "new matchmaking service" which aims to pair up "people with similar tastes... based on shopping habits". That would cut out a lot of grocery-related issues in new relationships, that's for sure.

 

elgooG

Meanwhile, Independent.ie has 'no' April Fool's Day stories on-site. *Ahem*.

And lastly, While not a fake story, The Huffington Post has complied a list of the easiest April Fool's Day pranks for last-minute pranksters. You can read that here.

 

Modest McGregor

In perhaps the best - and most subtle - April Fool's story today, "Modest Conor McGregor just hoping to do his best' is the headline above the main story on RTE Sport's homepage.

The report uses the adjectives such as "hesitant", "modest" and "shy" when it comes to describing McGregor, characteristics we could never associate with him.

Read more here: Video: Cocky kid, 9, says he is the next Conor McGregor and asks UFC chief for an advance in pay  

The Notorious Conor McGregor hosted a press conference in Dublin yesterday, part of the final leg of his world tour ahead of his title fight against Jose Aldo in Las Vegas this July.

The humorous report claims Conor "put paid to any notion that he would revel in the excess".

"Ah no, I wouldn't be into that kind of thing. All those bright lights, the glitz, the high rollers: not for me, thanks. I'm more likely to be staying in with the Late Late and a nice cup of tea," he was reported as saying.

The report added that McGregor is "uncomfortable" with the level of media attention afforded to him.

"I’m just one man.

"All these cameras and microphones – it’s a bit much. I’m just looking to keep my head down and concentrate on the fight.

"I’d like to just be able to enter a room quietly and take my place at the back of a crowd. Being the centre of attention, it’s not really my thing."

Read more here:

 

Finally the report rounded off with McGregor citing the words of renowned poet TS Eliot.

"I think it was TS Eliot who said April is the cruellest month, and when I look back at April 2013, I wonder whether I let myself in for a life of excitement and spectacle that I’m just not suited to."

(Just in case you're a little confused, you can watch our video of the press conference to see what really happened).

Online Editors

Promoted articles

Editors Choice

Also in Entertainment