Why Aidan and his incredible abs are a shoo-in for the DWTS final
Kirsty at large
RTÉ got itself in a right tizz this week.
The leafy confines of the Donnybrook lot seemed to be turning upside down and inside out.
Looming job redundancies, car parking spaces being sold off for social housing, Dee Forbes wanting to double the licence fee, the Nine O'Clock news being shunted around in the schedule to make way for Agnes Brown's chat show… Even the importance of the Angelus was called into question on Brendan O'Connor's Cutting Edge.
To top it all off Dancing with the Stars is drawing to a close - after 11 weeks of spins, fake tan race debacles and high kicks.
No more Julian Benson and his trophy jackets. No more Amanda Byram and her scripted jokes. And no more Dancing Dessie shuffling along the floor on his arse.
But before it all winds down we have tomorrow night's grand finale. The three finalists are Aidan O'Mahony, Aoibhín Garrihy and Denise McCormack. The overall winner and recipient of the glorious Glitterball trophy will be decided by the public vote.
This means, as Strictly Come Dancing obsessive Marian Keyes predicted in Week One, that Aidan will win. O'Mahony (pictured) meets all the desired criteria for the drawn-out dance-athon. First of all he is a GAA player and a garda - a fine upstanding member of the community who both defends us and dances for us.
He is from Kerry - and will therefore get the parochial vote. Des Bishop has given out yards about this but only someone who has never watched a single Irish reality TV show thinks talent is enough to get through. It all comes back to the parish. Dubliners are not winners because Dubliners are not committed entertainment TV voters. We just don't take it as seriously as our country cousins.
Aidan has also just become an adoring new dad. Sunday night TV viewers like that commitment, it's reassuring when staring into another bleak Monday morning. And finally he looks like an Irish Adrien Brody and has incredible abs.
So it's one more spin on the floor and then a 10-month wait till next year's show. It has been a hugely entertaining piece of programming, on a par with its British model.
But for the show's producer Larry Bass, it's much more than that, DWTS is a cultural unifier. "We have had celebrity shows in Ireland before," he said. "But nothing that has impacted or touched a nation as big as this one."
Hmmmm - wonder what else we can copy from the Brits?
The pitfalls of striving for perfect Duck Face
I have terrible selfie game. Like truly awful. I can never get the angles right and my nose always ends up looking about a foot long. As a result, my stock selfie face is the same as every other bad selfie taker out there.
The 'faux surprise' shot - mouth open, eyes all bugged out and not very sexy - the inverse of Duck Face.
The popularity of 'Surprise Selfie' is down to three factors: it eliminates the problem of smiling - which shows off crows' feet - but suggests you're still jokes.
It also makes your eyes look bigger and your face slimmer.
But being a one trick pony won't cut it on Instagram.
And so if you want to be objectified that little bit more these days, you can sign up to Spontana, a new app that lets strangers view and rate your selfies. (If this isn't a therapy session waiting to happen, I don't know what is).
The tagline reads, "Spontana will tell you more than just a mirror".
Poor mirror - whose role is now increasingly obsolete.
The desire to look picture-perfect - from overhead and at arm's length - has inspired a new wave of plastic surgery.
In the States, a recent survey by the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery showed over 40pc of surgeons reported that looking better in selfies was cited as a key incentive for prospective clients.
Selfie surgery is surgery driven by injectables - fillers and Botox.
Waxy-smooth foreheads, strong immoveable brows and Bratz doll-style lips are the dernier cri.
But this, like all other trends, will at some point sour.
In fact, the tide may already be turning. This week, TOWIE star Marnie Simpson said countless surgeries have "ruined her looks".
On Tuesday, she cited her duck pout as her downfall.
Last month she was complaining that liposuction had, rather confusingly, left her with a "fat vagina".
I didn't know people considered thin vaginas to be a good thing but every day is a school day.
Despite admitting that surgery has damaged her face and body, Marnie is already planning her next procedure - getting her chin shaved for "a more chiselled look".
"Though I don't want to look like a robot," she added.
Here's the danger with plastic surgery trends - they date you. The same way tattoo trends date. (Dolphin on your hip > 40. Stars on your index finger < 30)
We've had full facelifts, neck-lifts, cheek plumping, permanent scouse brows (now dubbed Brexit brow), pillow faces, lid-lifts and knee-tucks - the turnover of trends is becoming increasingly rapid.
While frown lines and crows' feet may age you, a crap facelift in the 90s enables people to guesstimate your age based on the surgery.
Perhaps that's what scares Marnie Simpson - she realises that duck face is becoming old hat but her only chance of getting away from it is shaving her chin and hoping for the best.
Moisturise and remember duck face/ chin shaves/ cheek implants and earlobe-lifts might be bang on trend but they aren't timeless. Ironically, getting older is.
Retro 1950s swim caps
Need to be brought back post-haste.
Electric picnic countdown
Time to start planning and prepping - provided you got a ticket.
Hard-Boiled Egg make-up tutorials
YouTubers using peeled eggs as foundation blenders. Not advisable.
Katy and the box
After 10 months, this Fair City storyline has jumped the shark.