Saturday 24 September 2016

'Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana' - the wit and wisdom of Terry Wogan

Published 31/01/2016 | 09:37

File photo dated 02/09/1973 of Terry Wogan sampling an oyster at a reception to celebrate the opening of the oyster season at Scott's restaurant in London, as the veteran broadcaster has died aged 77 following a short illness
File photo dated 02/09/1973 of Terry Wogan sampling an oyster at a reception to celebrate the opening of the oyster season at Scott's restaurant in London, as the veteran broadcaster has died aged 77 following a short illness
File photo dated 04/12/05 of Sir Terry Wogan with his wife Lady Helen, after the radio and television presenter collected his knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II during an investiture ceremony at Buckingham Palace.

Acclaimed for his quick wit, here are some of Here are some examples of Terry Wogan's wit and wisdom:

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"Hang on: there's 60 million people in the country - what are the other 52 million listening to?" - On hearing that his radio show audience in 2005 had passed the eight million mark.

 

"Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana."

 

"Get on your toes, keep your wits about you, say goodnight politely when it's over, go home and enjoy your dinner" - His golden rule of broadcasting.

 

"Gratuitously hurtful folk declare that I am very popular in hospitals because the listeners abed there are too weak to reach out and switch me off."

 

"The price of fame? Who in their right mind would want to pay it?"

 

"If the present Mrs Wogan has a fault - and I must tread carefully here - this gem in the diadem of womanhood is a hoarder. She never throws anything out. Which may explain the longevity of our marriage."

 

"Could it be that behind every great man there's a woman working him with her foot?"

 

"Go out and face the world secure in the knowledge that everybody else thinks they are better looking than they are as well."

 

"My opinion has the weight of a ton of feathers."

 

"So many things I miss. And, you know, I wouldn't have missed them for anything."

 

"Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose. Tosh, mon brave. If there was any truth in that load of old frog spawn, would the present Mrs Wogan have spent a fortune doing the bedroom?"

 

"The girls themselves resemble nothing so much as garden rakes, and bad-tempered, pouting garden rakes at that" - On thin models.

 

"Why do men think they know how to cook outside when they haven't the smallest idea how to go about it indoors?" - On barbecues.

 

"The only physical adornments which grow bigger with passing years are the nose and ears. The rest, regrettably, diminishes."

 

"Retirement is coming to all of us, and as my accountant said to me lately, 'You'd better think of taking your pension soon, otherwise it won't be worth your while'."

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