Monday 24 October 2016

‘Reveal your cracks’ - Best innuendos and quotes of the Great British Bake Off

Published 06/10/2015 | 12:29

The Great British Bake Off
The Great British Bake Off

Ahead of the anticipated final of the popular cookery show, we recount the best one liners and gags of the series so far.

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"Stop touching your dough balls" - Sue Perkins

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"It's got to be risen and rested before it goes in" - Paul Hollywood

"That was stressful. Oh my God. I’d sooner have another baby. I really would.” - Nadiya Hussain

“Right bakers, time to reveal your cracks.” - Sue Perkins

“I’m trying to get it quite thick and glossy. Just like a labrador.” - Mat Riley


Sue: “I’ve got a real treat for you. Tasty, beautiful, unmistakably French…”

Mel: “Is it Thierry Henry?”

Sue: “No, he’s still safe in my basement. It’s Patisserie Week.”  

“When Madonna makes cream horns, she simply uses her bra. If you’ve got one of those conical bras, you can do that.” - Mel Giedroyc

“I’ve got the fear. Cake Fear.” - Mat Riley

 “Listen mate, don’t let a fondant tennis court be the end of you.” - Sue Perkins

 “We’d like you to make Mary’s version of a Spaniche Windtorte. Sounds like something I went to the doctors for when I was on holiday in Majorca.” - Mel Giedroyc

“I’m sat here like David Attenborough. If we just sit here very quietly, we’ll soon see the brûlées coming out.” - Sandy Docherty, sitting in front of the oven.

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Mel Giedroyc, eating Ugne’s flowers: “What about these flowers? Edible?”

Ugne: “No. Spit it out.”

"They look like really beautiful ciabatta – if only that’s what we were making.” Tamal Ray on his biscotti.

 "Is it Genoesey or Geno-difficult?”  - Mel Giedroyc

"It's very important you fill the horn right to the bottom so you enjoy it to the last mouthful." - Mary Berry


“There’s lots of cheese in this. It’ll do nothing for my figure.” - Mat Riley

"I'm a bit concerned, just because I'm watching everybody doing what we're supposed to be doing." - Flora Shedden


“Today’s showstopper is a dessert that sounds like a bit like a film star from the 1980s: Charlotte Russe.” - Mel Giedroyc

"I'm calling this a 'nun with hidden passions'. Wouldn't it be great if I could tell some exciting story about a nun with hidden passions I met on my travels somewhere? But no. Nothing as exotic as that." - Ian Cumming

“What wobble are you looking for? A Kim Kardashian? A Jessica Rabbit?” - Sue Perkins on the perfect crème brûlée consistency

“I ran the 800 metres once at school but waited for a friend on the last lap. That’s how not competitive I am.” - Sandy Docherty

“There’s dough everywhere. It’s doughverload.” - Mat Riley

Mel to Ian: “I love those hanging nuts.”


“Bakers you’ve got an hour until we want to heat the pitta patter of tiny breads coming up to the table.” - Mel Giedroyc

 “Underlay, underlay - as a Mexican carpet-fitter once said.” - Sue Perkins

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