Wednesday 20 September 2017

TOWIE - the most entertaining reality show on TV's most cringeworthy moments

Gemma shows Arg what he's missing
Gemma shows Arg what he's missing
Aoife Kelly

Aoife Kelly

The Only Way is Essex is back on Sunday night and fans are guaranteed the usual combo of unintentional laughs, screaming matches, and the staple of the scripted reality show - awkwardness.

The episode is set in Tenerife where most of the cast jetted for a holiday, but Lydia Bright joked recently that they had renamed the island "Tenergrief" because of all the arguments.

Here are just a few reminders of why TOWIE makes our toes curl with embarrassment - and we love it...

Joey Essex wears small shoes

TOWIE without Joey Essex just isn't the same.  The lad's IQ appears to match his shoe size (the smaller one - you'll see what I mean when you watch the video) and this combined with his own particular version of the English language made for hours of hilarity.

Everything he says makes you cringe.  Literally everything.  Here, he's buying shoes: "I don't know what size yet cos they crease there.  I'm size nine but I might get size seven.  Trust me you buy size seven yeah they proper straighten out like that, stay fresh the whole time. Do you know what I mean?  Everyone does that don't they?  No one does that?"

Nope, Joey.  Nope.  Keep watching for the next clip, during which the salon girls reveal to Joey that Ireland is a different country than England, "because it's in Ireland".

 

Lucy finds out Marco has been sexting other girls

Being cheated on is one of the most emotionally galling experiences a person can endure and yet a simple fact of life for most of us.  Except we don't have to share the details with the nation on TV.  And if we did we probably wouldn't have to struggle to keep our seven inches of make-up from sliding off our faces.  Cringe.

 

Lucy Mecklenbergh tells Lauren Goodger she spent the night with Mark just after Lauren and Mark got engaged

This scene is the epitome of awkard.  It's awkward times infinity.  Lucy takes Lauren aside to tell her she slept with Mark, who has just proposed to Lauren, two weeks previously.  She passive aggressively delivers the news and then Mark, sitting several feet away, pipes up.  Staged or not it's slide-down-off-your-seat cringeworthy.

 

Joey Essex's almost proposal to Sam Faiers on TOWIE Live

TOWIE Live was probably the most spectacularly badly staged live event on TV in the history of TV.  Even worse than the IFTAs.  Every single moment was filled with bloopers and mistakes and awkward silences and crew shouting and cast members' sentences being cut off.

But was Sam and Joey's conversation that really made the teeth grind.  Was he going to propose?  He certainly didn't seem to look like he wanted to.  She certainly didn't appear to want him to.  So what was going on?  Why wouldn't it end?

Towards the end of the episode, Joey said: 'I need to go outside. I can't do this any more.'  Everyone at home said the same.

 

"You Ain't Ever Gonna Get This Candy" - Gemma shows Arg what he's missing

We're all for a gal reminding her ex what he's missing, but doing so poolside, in a swimsuit, whilst slapping your own arse is probably not how most of us could imagine going about it.  Gemma Collins had no such qualms, however, and gave us this gem of a scene, embarrassingly awkward as it is...

TOWIE returns Sunday 10pm on ITV

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