Thursday 19 October 2017

All you need to know about the week's cultural highlights, in handy bitesize form. You're welcome...

Ryan Tubridy is hosting Eurosong
Ryan Tubridy is hosting Eurosong
Darragh McManus

Darragh McManus

EUROSONG: WHAT:The annual contest to decide what song won't win the Eurovision for Ireland.

WHEN & WHERE:

Tonight, 9.30pm, RTE1.

DON'T YOU MEAN…:

Yes, it takes place on the Late, Late Show, as per modern tradition.

HOST:

Ryan Tubridy.

CRINGE-FACTOR PREDICTION:

Moderate to low - he ain't bad at these light-entertainment bits.

HOPEFULS:

Four girls and one guy, hailing from as far afield as Zambia, Sweden and, er, Longford.

HOPEFULLY:

Linda Martin and Billy McGuinness will storm the studio to reprise their hugely entertaining row from last year.

FACT TO MAKE YOU FEEL ANCIENT:

Entrant Molly Sterling, from Tipperary, is a mere 16 years old. She wasn't even born the last time we won.

FACT TO MAKE YOU DEPRESSED:

Eurovision legend Johnny Logan (right) has said he'll never do it again. A nation wails and gnashes its teeth.

BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW:

Ireland still holds the record for Eurovision titles with seven, despite being absolutely godawful for the last two decades.

DO SAY:

What's another year… to wait for victory?

DON'T SAY:

Hold me now… they're all so terrible.

the bluffer's guide

All you need to know about the week's cultural highlights, in handy bitesize form. You're welcome...

Irish Independent

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