Saturday 10 December 2016

'I'm overlooked because I'm normal' - Irish woman says the expectation on girls to be 'perfect' ruins dating

Sasha Brady

Published 28/10/2016 | 11:42

Aoife O'Callaghan
Aoife O'Callaghan
A woman spoke to Ryan Tubridy about her experiences with dating in Ireland
Many young people find it difficult to find romance

An Irish woman took to the airwaves today to complain about the dating scene in Ireland and said the expectation on girls to be perfect is ruining romance.

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Aoife O'Callaghan (27) from Castleknock spoke to Ryan Tubridy about her experiences in dating.

The accounts manager, who has been single for two and a half years, said that she finds it difficult to meet someone who wants more than just a casual encounter.

"I think I'm being overlooked because I'm not perfect," she told listeners on RTE Radio One.

Aoife O'Callaghan
Aoife O'Callaghan

"If you get talking to someone and you don't want to go home with them straight away, that's it you're gone.

"I'm pretty old-fashioned. I'd rather - if I do meet someone on a night out - swap numbers and go on a date before going on to the next stage, but nowadays, if you don't go home with someone, they immediately reject you," she said.

Aoife said that while dating apps have made it difficult to pursue a meaningful relationship with a potential partner, the traditional way of meeting someone on a night out isn't working either.

"When I go out, for example, I would be pretty simple. I do my hair and I do my make-up but I wouldn't have the likes of fake tan, HD brows, fake eyelashes, fake nails... the works. When I go out nowadays and I see girls with next-to-nothing on, they're size six to eights and I don't know how because they musn't eat but guys just flock towards them immediately.

Many young people find it difficult to find romance
Many young people find it difficult to find romance

"And because I'd say I'm healthy looking, more than anything else, I go out with respectable clothing and I'm not a prude... but I don't have my legs, bum, boobs out on view and a lot of people do. Some girls are wearing nothing but bras and kinda short skirts out and I just find it horrific," she said.

"I'm completely being overlooked because I'm normal."

While Ryan Tubridy reassured her that guys aren't interested in women who are a size six or eight, "as much as the media, society and magazines would have you believe", Aoife disagreed.

"When you're seeing it in front of you... when you're seeing a group of girls who are like twigs in dresses and you're standing behind them and they literally look at you as if you have a hump on your back... it's kind of frustrating because it happens time and time again. It's so annoying.

Aoife said there's a pressure on girls to wear next-to-nothing on nights out. (Pictured: Emily Ratajkowski. Photo by Mike Coppola/Getty Images)
Aoife said there's a pressure on girls to wear next-to-nothing on nights out. (Pictured: Emily Ratajkowski. Photo by Mike Coppola/Getty Images)

"I just want to point out that I am 'normal', there's nothing extraordinary about me but I can't be the only one finding it so hard to find someone."

However, while Aoife explained that she would love to meet someone, she isn't going to settle. Her goal is to one day have her own family and she said she will achieve that with or without a partner.

"I went through a pretty weird break up and it took me a good year to find myself and discover who I was. In that year I decided that I'm not settling," she said.

She explained that she wants to share her life with someone but it doesn't "necessarily have to be a partner" and she has made the decision to have children on her own by the time she's 34, if she hasn't met someone by then.

"It doesn't make any sense for me to keep waiting and if I miss out on my chance to have kids I will be absolutely devastated," she said.

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