Friday 30 September 2016

People are talking: Kim can't keep mum and bares everything

Sarah Caden

Published 17/08/2015 | 02:30

Put it away: Kim Kardashian posted a nude selfie to prove she's pregnant
Put it away: Kim Kardashian posted a nude selfie to prove she's pregnant
Good pals: Brian and Vogue seem inseparable

So, Kim Kardashian is pregnant. She may have announced her second pregnancy in May, but true confirmation came only last week, when she posted a naked selfie online.

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In her online posting, Kim explained that her naked selfie was a response to people claiming that she's not pregnant at all and that a surrogate is carrying her second child with Kanye 'Kevin the Teenager' West. Kim couldn't dismiss this as madness and get on with her life. Instead, she had to get naked and share.

The precedent for the naked pregnant photo shoot was set by Demi Moore in 1991, on the cover of Vanity Fair, and her 'handbra' pose has been copied and cheapened since by the likes of Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey. It was surprising, back in ye olde 20th Century, to reveal oneself as Demi did. Now, though, it's startling if someone chooses to keep anything to themselves. Which is why we shouldn't be surprised that the traditionally uppity Vogue has applauded Kim's butt-and-bump baring as "inspirational" and "sexy". Because it's body-shaming to suggest that keeping your body private might be far more attractive. Because if you're not all out there, you're no one. It's the modern version of if a tree falls in the wood, and no one hears it, does it make a sound? If you're not posting selfies and no one can see you, do you, or your unborn child, really exist?

ABC of Google's name change 

IT'S hard enough to keep up with the goings on in Silicon Valley so Google changing their corporate name is only going to add to the confusion.com.

The internet company Google has announced that it's going to create a holding company called Alphabet, but this development really isn't as simple as ABC.

It turns out that Google, the helpful little search engine thing that we thought was the entire company, isn't top dog anymore. It's been relegated to the B team by the development of Alphabet which is to become the holding company for all their businesses.

So, Google will now be a slimmed-down version of itself and has to focus on the day-to-day stuff like searching, and emailing and YouTube. All the cool stuff that Google used to do like driverless cars and drones are now gone to a separate company.

But however fancy this all sounds, it looks like Google should have done a bit more Googling before coming up with the new name Alphabet.

BMW have a subsidiary called Alphabet that supplies cars to corporations.

Alphabet executives in Google didn't tell BMW they were forming a company with the same name and they didn't attempt to buy the Alphabet.com domain name.

They might know their bits from their bytes but Alphabet gets an E grade for their Google searching.

Will Hanafin

Spice it up like Vogue and Brian

Celebrity breakups aren't what they used to be. Only two months ago the formula was there for all to see. A couple announces that the game is up but they remain good friends. She then appears in a tabloid, walking out of the Mediterranean in a virtually non-existent bikini to 'show him what he's missing.'

He 'tells friends' that he's taking the whole thing very badly. Two days later he's pictured stumbling out of a nightclub with some young one you vaguely remember from the semi-final of The Voice.

Well, that was then. Because the Vogue Williams and Brian McFadden break-up has put the whole thing in reverse. If you'll remember, when the break-up happened in July, 'friends' revealed that they had already been spending a lot of time apart. However, since they split up on Twitter, they've been virtually inseparable. At least that's the way it seems. Brian posted a photo of Vogue in the airport last week. It turns out they are still living together. All Brian has to do if he wants to 'see what he's missing' is look across the breakfast table. Obviously they are not doing this for the publicity. Celebs just aren't like that. And, in fairness, it's clear there is sadness on both sides. But there is a lesson here for the rest of us when it comes to spicing up your marriage. Forget about renewing your vows. That's older than your gran. The only way to do it these days is announce on Twitter that the relationship is done and you hope to remain friends. Then it's off on honeymoon with your ex.

Pat Fitzpatrick

Tinder truth ain't so sexy

All people who are married or been in a long-term relationship for the past few years regret that they missed out on Tinder, and will have to shoulder that regret until death or divorce, which ever comes first. I know this to be true because two of my mates told me so, and as far as I'm concerned they're enough for me to make such a sweeping statement.

Okay, so I don't really believe that's fair but then I'm not Nancy Jo Sales who made a lot of people angry this week, including Tinder, when she did pretty much that, sort of.

Writing in Vanity Fair, she portrayed Tinder users as shallow, detached and sex-crazed. She based the portrayal on a few wealthy young New Yorkers because you know, if you really want to know what's really going on best ask Ivy League-educated investment bankers in Manhattan - the true touchstones of the common man.

Of course her portrayal is total bo**ocks. Tinder is as much for sex hook-ups as Facebook is for posting pictures of avocados, or Twitter is for generating Katie Hopkins-related death threats. Sure, some are on it to hook-up but not everyone, some have even found love, something few investment bankers are capable of.

Christopher Jackson

Kerry's getting all sensible

There are, to be fair about it, many things that Kerry Katona might have been required to "defend" in her time: her Good Morning appearance, her selection of Brian McFadden as a husband, or taking cocaine while her children are being looked after downstairs by a nanny. But we really feel she is being given an unnecessarily hard time in The Sun's headline this week: 'Kerry Katona defends her decision to attend a fun day in exchange for a free sofa.' Sorry, where's the problem The Sun? Sofas are good. Free stuff is lovely. Looks like Kerry is setting a wonderful example for once. Blagging free stuff would put the 'fun' into fun day if you ask us, and our Kerry has nothing to defend. The only bit about the story that made us a little sad was when we pictured where "a free sofa" might fit into the list of things Kerry has blagged in her time. It's not very rock 'n' roll.

It's not even very reality TV star. It's so sensible in fact that you wonder if Kerry has forgotten that 'brand Kerry Katona' involves doing stuff that brings out the inner concerned social worker in us, her rapt and attentive public. Kerry accepting a sofa in lieu of an outrageous appearance fee or some designer clothes seems a bit like Shirley Valentine going to Woodies instead of Greece, on the look out for half price lamps, instead of sex. So whilst we rejoice for Kerry's newfound common sense and we thrill to her acquisition of some soft furnishings we also secretly hope there's still some antics in the old girl yet.

Donal Lynch

Summer and TDs don't mix

Whatever happened to the silly season? There used to be an unwritten agreement in this country. Politicians went away in August. We didn't have to hear a single word from or about them, unless we were foolish enough to attend one of those pesky summer schools, where TDs flock during the Dail recess in order to go on enjoying the sound of their own voices.

This year is different. The psycho seagulls are keeping their end of the bargain. That's a classic silly season story. The politicians, though, are stubbornly refusing to bog off and leave us in peace.

First it was that story about Enda Kenny staying on as Taoiseach until the bicentenary of the Easter Rising, or however long it was that sycophantic Fine Gaelers want the "Dear Leader" to remain in charge. Then it was the one about how he might, after all, step down during the lifetime of the next Dail, and which chinless wonder will take over if and when he does. Now there's a big hullabaloo about a possible electoral pact between FG and Labour, a deal which seems to be on and off more frequently than Mick Jagger's trousers.

Look, fellas, it's quite simple. Between the end of one Dail term and the start of another, your duties to the Irish nation can be summed up in the phrase "out of sight, out of mind". It's bad enough having to listen to you all jibber-jabbering on for the other months of the year without letting you ruin what's left of the summer as well.

Eilis O'Hanlon

Sunday Indo Living

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